


Justice and Peace Will Kiss

by JackieStarSister



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, The Rise of Skywalker
Genre: Ben Solo Lives, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Exile, F/M, Finn tries to be nice, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Leia Organa, Force Ghost(s), Force Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Leia Organa Ships It, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, Minor Finn/Rose Tico, Planet Ahch-To (Star Wars), Poe doesn't like Ben/Kylo, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Post-War, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rehabilitation, Reylo Friendship, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It, reylo romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:09:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackieStarSister/pseuds/JackieStarSister
Summary: "Love and truth will meet; justice and peace will kiss." ~ Psalm 85:10.Having survived Exegol, Ben is exiled and begins his journey of healing. Rey volunteers to keep tabs on him and tries to make peace between him and her friends. Eventually, they have to face the reality of their feelings for each other.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 28
Kudos: 47





	1. Return

**Author's Note:**

> I started posting this story on FanFiction.Net in July 2020 but decided to post it here as well.
> 
> The rating will go up for some later chapters, but the mature content will not be graphic.

Rey had to help Ben walk, supporting him so he could avoid putting weight on his broken leg. They limped out of the Sith cathedral together, holding on to each other as though their lives depended on it. Needing to help the other spurred both of them to keep moving despite being almost literally dead on their feet.

When they reached their ships, there was an awkward moment of uncertainty. Where would they go from here? Was this where their paths diverged once more, or would they continue onward together?

The decision was made when Ben tried to stand on his own, only for his legs to give out under him. Rey barely caught his weight, slowing his fall to the ground, where he curled up in pain that was almost palpable to her through their bond. His mouth was set in a grimace as he fought through the pain of his leg, ribs, and an as-yet uncounted number of cuts, scrapes and bruises.

For a moment she sat and held him, desperately wishing she could heal him once again. She did not dare to try when she was still in a fragile state herself after Ben revived her. If Ben had given her any more of his life force, it would have killed him. If Rey tried to give it back, she might die again.

She pushed his sweat-soaked hair out of his face, brushing grime and blood across his forehead. His eyes closed under her touch, which was exactly the opposite of what she wanted. "Stay with me, Solo." That was the kind of thing Finn or Poe would say to cajole the other.

She was slightly surprised when Ben answered, and greatly surprised by what he said. "I intend to." He opened his eyes and moved his head enough to look at her. "If you'll let me."

Fighting back tears, Rey nodded, and then they stood up together, inch by slow inch. She practically carried him into the X-wing, which would draw less attention than the TIE fighter when they reached the Resistance base. It was the only place she knew of where he could get the medical care he desperately needed.

She could only imagine Ben's thoughts as they saw the last of the star destroyers explode or fall from the atmosphere back onto the planet. Rey, for her own part, felt triumphant, and she was overjoyed when she saw the Millennium Falcon accompanied by an X-wing she knew must be Poe's.

"We did it, Ben." She turned around in the pilot's seat to look at him, even though he was facing away from her. "And we did it together."

He turned his head so she could see his smile. Rey reflected that it was only the second time she had ever seen it. The first smile, after she kissed him, had been joyful. This one was tired, a little sad, but proud.

She liked seeing him smile. She hoped she would see more of it.

They did not speak much during the journey, except to ask how the other was holding up. Naturally, they both felt exhausted, but Ben was dealing with more pain, while Rey had to fight her exhaustion and pilot the X-wing through the dangerous path away from Exegol.

Finally, they reached Ajan Kloss. After they made planetfall, Rey turned to Ben and said, "Stay here while I tell them what happened. Then we'll get you to a medic."

"Okay."

She smiled at him and squeezed his hand before getting out of the cockpit.

No sooner had she disembarked than she crouched down to greet a small BB unit that was rolling up to the X-wing. Ben realized with a start that it was the droid that he had searched for, the one that had carried the map to Luke Skywalker. He had never seen it in person, only in his prisoners' memories. That search—that kriffing droid, along with the Resistance pilot and the renegade stormtrooper—had led Kylo Ren to Rey.

Ben watched, half-hidden, as Rey reunited with her other friends, some of whom he recognized. He almost envied the way she hugged the pilot and the deserter, with such natural and open affection; but then he remembered what had just transpired between him and Rey on Exegol. He smiled at the memory, feeling smug, incredulous and … happy, happier than he had thought he could be.

He leaned back in his seat, marveling at everything that had happened in the past year, in the past day. It was easier to reflect on the past than to contemplate the future, even the next few minutes or hours or days.

He sat up when he saw Rey and a few other people approaching the X-wing. He recognized two of them, and he knew they recognized him: Chewbacca, who he had expected; and Lando Calrissian, who he had not. Others, including the pilot and the stormtrooper, watched from a short distance, their hands on the weapons at their belts.

"Who's this big man?" Lando looked at him ambivalently, his arms crossed, his tone playful. "It can't be the same guy I saw as a toddler, running buck naked—"

"I come in peace," Ben interrupted fiercely. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rey cover her mouth with her hand, while her friends guffawed. "I just helped Rey—"

"So she told us." Lando tilted his head at him curiously. "Did you really go to face Palpatine without a lightsaber?"

"I had a blaster."

Lando let out a bark of laughter. "Ha! A blaster against a Sith Lord? You're even more like your dad than I'd thought."

Ben felt unworthy of the comparison. "Actually, it was the one you left for me when I was born."

"No kidding? Uncle Lando knew what he was doing."

Rey stepped back up into the cockpit. "Come on. Chewie will help you down."

The moment seemed full of strange ironies: Ben had to be carried like a child by the Wookiee who had held him when he was an actual child, and he had to place himself in the care of people who had been his prisoners mere hours ago.

Ben waited until he was on the ground, with the two medics supporting him, before he spoke. "Chewbacca."

The Wookiee cut him off before he could speak more. It took Ben a moment to comprehend the sharp words—it had been a long time since he heard anyone speak Shyriiwook. Since when do you call me that? Ben had never addressed the Wookiee by his full name before; he had always called him "Uncle Chewie" as a child.

"I … I'm sorry for taking you prisoner. And … for everything else." Ben said, bowing his head humbly. "I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't think I can fully forgive myself." He looked up and met the Wookiee's eyes. "But I'm done with the First Order, the Dark Side—all of it."

They looked at each other for a long moment. Chewbacca's tone was gentler when he spoke again. Your father always came around at the last minute, too. He stepped forward and put a hand on Ben's shoulder. He would be proud.

Ben gaped, speechless. Then Chewbacca pulled him into a hug, and suddenly he was overwhelmed with sensations he associated with memories of his childhood—the smell and texture of Wookiee fur, the gentle strength of Chewie's arms, the rumble of his chest as he growled affectionately. The next moment, he was sobbing and clinging to Chewie, who was still taller than him despite his considerable height.

Some distance away, Zorii Bliss asked Poe, "Why is Kylo Ren hugging that Wookiee?"

Rey heard the question and answered, "That's not Kylo Ren. His name is Ben."

It took a few minutes, but once Ben had collected himself somewhat, Chewie and the medics helped toward toward the infirmary. All around, rebels were reuniting, congratulating each other, celebrating their victory.

Suddenly, a golden droid stepped in front of the small entourage, and Ben was faced with another figure from his past. "Why—Master Ben!"

Ben stared at the droid with disbelief. "C-3PO?"

"Yes, sir, it is I!"

"I never thought I'd see you again." Had the protocol droid really managed to survive another war?

"I'm delighted to see you as well, sir. I do hope you're alright after all this madness."

"He will be soon," Rey said confidently, pushing the droid gently aside. "Excuse us."

She led the rest of the way to the infirmary, which was little more than a tent with several beds, about half of them occupied. The medics worked efficiently, hooking him up to machines, putting his leg in a brace, and sticking bacta patches over his skin.

They avoided eye contact with Ben, but he could sense their emotions—doubt, confusion, fear, anger, and suspicion. Only Rey and Chewbacca's presence could ease him into complacency, since he trusted them to stop anyone who got it into their head to harm him even after he had surrendered.

"You can rest now," Rey said when they were finished. His exhaustion was catching up, and the medicines being pumped into him were making him drowsy. "I'll stay nearby."

"Don't you need to rest too?" he asked.

"I will. I'll have Chewie or another friend watch over you then." She smiled again, that beautiful smile that was still so new to him—happy, affectionate, reassuring and grateful. Then she leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Whoa—Rey?"

She stiffened and turned, and Ben saw two of his least favorite Resistance members, Poe Dameron and FN-2187, standing just inside the entrance. Both were staring with a mixture of disbelief and disgust.

"Is that how it is?" Poe exclaimed.

"Is that why—" Finn started to say.

"Out." Rey pointed to the door.

The two men talked over each other as Chewbacca ushered them out.

"When did this happen?" Finn asked.

"How did this happen?" Poe demanded.

The last thing they heard was the shout, "Rey, you owe us an explanation!"

She rolled her eyes, which made Ben smile. He reached for her hand and squeezed it before closing his eyes, finally surrendering to sleep.

He did not know what would happen when he woke, but somehow that did not bother him. He had hope, and he knew he was not alone. Even though he was surrounded by people who feared and hated him, there were a few who were happy that he was there. Having come to peace with them, he felt more at peace within himself than he had in years—perhaps in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The interaction that Lando refers to from Ben's childhood is found in Last Shot by Daniel José Older. The blaster that they talk about is from Aftermath: Empire's End by Chuck Wendig.


	2. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben meets a Resistance officer, and has to answer Poe and Finn's questions.

When Ben awoke, a young woman he did not know was sitting in a chair next to his cot. She had a kind face, not at all like the female officers in the First Order.

"Hi," she said, regarding him carefully. "It's … Ben, right? I'm Rose Tico." She seemed to be making a great effort to sound polite, but he could sense her nervous uncertainty.

"Are you a medic?"

"No. Engineering Corps." Seeing Ben's confusion, she explained, "I'm a friend of Rey's. She was here for a while, and then Chewie, and they asked me to take a turn sitting with you. There's been a lot to do since getting back, and she didn't want you to wake up alone."

Ben stretched in the bed, testing out his injured muscles. He was in considerably less pain than when he had arrived. His ribs felt normal, and his leg would probably follow suit very soon. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A day and a half." Rose turned to a tray set on a stand next to his cot. "There's water, food and medicine here if you need it."

Ben pushed himself half upright. "Water. Please."

Rose opened a bottle, passed it to him, and watched him take several slow sips.

"I don't talk with many First Order people," she said. "Let alone former Supreme Leaders. And I'm probably not supposed to talk much with you, but … can I ask you something?"

"You can ask. Doesn't mean I have to answer. Or is this how the questioning starts?"

She looked at him with a hardness in her eyes, almost challenging. "Did you really save Rey's life?"

That was simple enough, and it sounded as though she had already gotten the story from Rey, so Ben saw no reason not to answer truthfully. "Yes. A couple times, actually. She tends to run toward danger instead of away from it." Ben took another sip of water, then pointed at Rose with one finger while still holding the bottle. "Don't tell her I said that."

She smiled, grudgingly amused. "I won't. But you're not wrong." She stood up. "If you don't need anything else, I'll let her know you're awake."

"Thank you."

Rose paused at this, as though trying to decide whether to say more, but then she walked away.

While he waited, Ben looked through the rations that had been left for him, trying to ignore the handful of Resistance medics and patients in the infirmary. He had enough time to eat his fill before Rey came in, holding something black in her arms. She had cleaned up, changed her clothes, and left most of her hair down. It was longer than it had been when Ben last saw it styled that way, almost a year ago.

"Hey," she greeted him, tentative but cheerful.

"Hey," Ben returned.

She sat down on the edge of his cot. "How are you feeling?"

"Stronger. You?"

Rey smiled. "Never better."

Ben smiled back, and for a brief moment they just looked at each other. Then Rey abruptly looked down at the item she had carried in. "I brought you something." She unfolded the garment and held it out to him, and Ben recognized it as his own sweater. He had discarded it before having his injuries treated the previous day, when he had been given some mismatched clothes from the Resistance's supplies. As Rey held the sweater up, he saw that the hole where she had impaled him was covered with a black patch. "I mended it," she said.

"Thanks." Ben had not cared much for the sweater itself, but he appreciated the gesture. When he accepted it, he noticed that it smelled clean, not like the sweat and dirt of Exegol, and he realized she had taken the time to wash it too. "You didn't have to."

Rey shrugged. "I know." She did not say why she had done it, instead moving on to a different subject. "You met Rose."

"She seems … nice." And remarkably unafraid of him, given his history.

"If you're up for more visitors, Finn and Poe want to see you. You know who they are, right?"

Ben frowned. "The stormtrooper and the pilot?"

Rey nodded. "I told them what happened—everything I know about—but they want to hear your point of view, and you might be able to answer some questions I can't." Seeing that he was still puzzled, she explained, "Your mother named Poe acting general, and he made Finn co-general."

This was dismaying news to Ben. "They're in charge of the Resistance? You could have mentioned that before bringing me here." Had he unknowingly placed his fate in the hands of two of the people who had the most reasons to hate him?

"Don't overreact," Rey said. "Finn has been where you are—he deserted the First Order too, remember? And Poe was close to your mother. He's not in a hurry to punish her only son."

Ben looked at her with an expression that made it clear he was not reassured.

"I told them if you try to hurt anyone, I'll kill you; and if anyone tries to hurt you, I'll kill them," Rey said.

The corners of Ben's mouth twitched upward, and he nodded curtly. "I appreciate that."

Rey half-smiled and stood up. "They're waiting to hear when you're ready. Oh, and Chewie can help you walk if you need to use the 'fresher."

"Um … I think crutches would do."

"Sorry, but you're not supposed to be left unsupervised … and I'm not going in there with you," she said firmly, folding her arms.

Ben stifled a laugh, as much amused by the idea as by her attempt to hide her embarrassment. "I wasn't thinking you would."

Rey was blushing as she left.

Chewbacca came shortly, and Ben was able to freshen up. He put the sweater on over his borrowed shirt, as though it could protect him from whatever unpleasant experiences lay ahead.

After Chewie returned him to his cot, Rey came in with the two co-generals and a droid—R2-D2, Ben realized. Seeing the old astromech startled him even more than the BB unit or his mother's protocol droid. He had not seen it since his last day at the training temple, and he had assumed it was destroyed in the fire.

Now, R2 slid up next to the bed, beeping inquisitively. He sounded uncharacteristically shy.

"Yeah, it's really me," Ben answered quietly.

Apparently convinced, R2 started to beep faster and more indignantly, but Rey laid a hand on its dome to hush it. "Artoo is going to record the conversation," she explained to Ben.

He nodded and looked next at the two men standing at the end of his cot. Poe Dameron had one arm in a sling, and in his other hand he held a datapad. Finn stood next to him, arms akimbo. Rey positioned herself midway between the two parties, like a referee in a sports match, or a mediator in a diplomatic meeting—a neutral party, unaligned with either contender.

"Comfortable?" Poe deadpanned.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Ben said.

"Not really. I'd rather you weren't here at all."

"Yeah, me too." Ben looked to the former stormtrooper. "So … you go by Finn now?"

"Yeah." Finn tossed his head toward his co-general. "Poe thought of it."

"It's easier than FN-whatever," Poe said with a casual shrug.

"So what do we call you now?" Finn asked. "Ren? Solo?"

Ben half expected Rey to answer for him, but she was silent, and he understood that it was up to him to name himself. "Kylo Ren died on Kef Bir. You can call me Ben, or Solo."

"What about Skywalker?" Poe suggested lightly. "Your mom's family name, right?"

"Don't push it," Ben warned, pointing a finger at him.

Poe took a step back as though he expected a Force attack. He and Finn turned aside to speak in tones hushed but easy to hear.

"Should we put him in binders?"

"I don't think it'll make a difference."

"Guys," Rey cut in, calling them to focus.

Ben cut to the chase. "What do you want to know?"

Poe glanced down at the datapad, then held it out toward Finn, who tapped the screen for him. "There are some people we want to account for. Let's start with our mutual friends." Looking up again he asked Ben, "What happened to General Hux?"

"He's dead," Ben said at once.

"You're sure of that?"

"Allegiant General Pryde killed him after he helped you escape."

No one seemed saddened by this news. "I see," Poe said. "That's probably a good thing—it means we don't have to worry about him either way."

Finn spoke up next. "Hux had a contact named Boolio. He was the one who told us about Palpatine's return."

Ben remembered. "The Ovissian on the Sinta Glacier Colony."

"Yeah. Any idea what happened to him?"

Ben hesitated, not so much out of guilt as out of knowledge that his answer would be displeasing. "I killed him."

Finn and Poe both paused, processing this information and trying to hide their surprise and any other emotions—Ben sensed a little sadness and much anger. Rey did not share in these feelings, but she looked at Ben with a pained expression. It was not exactly disappointment—they were speaking, after all, of things he had done before he decided to help her, so she had not expected much better of him at that time. But perhaps she had still hoped in spite of herself.

"Okay." Poe moved on with a kind of efficiency Ben used to see his mother exercise. "Who ordered the destruction of Kijimi?"

Ben blinked in surprise. "Kijimi?"

Poe raised his brow at him. "You didn't know about that?"

"No. I was just there—when did this happen?"

"We learned about it after we left Kef Bir."

Ben thought over the sequence of events. "If it was the First—or Final—Order, Pryde must have given the command."

"He's got to be dead by now," Finn said, alluding to the destruction of the Sith fleets.

"Am I allowed to ask questions?" Ben inquired. "Like, did you kill all those stormtroopers?"

"Don't answer that," Poe told Finn before he could respond. Then he turned to Ben and asked, "After Kef Bir, why'd you go to Exegol? What did you plan to do there?"

"Kill Palpatine. That was my plan all along … but I realized I needed to do it for a different reason." Ben looked at Rey, and her expression was soft with understanding and gratitude.

"Alright, then it's time for the big question," Finn said. He sat down in the chair Rose had occupied, so that he was on Ben's eye level. Then he asked bluntly, "What made you decide to switch sides?"

A pregnant pause followed this question. Finn clarified, "I mean what made you decide on that day, at that moment, after you had been hunting us across the galaxy for days, and had a bunch of opportunities to switch sides before that."

"You can take as long as you need to answer," Rey said encouragingly.

"I'm honestly not sure I can." Ben had barely had time to process the events of the past few days in private, let alone in others' company. "It'd probably take more time than you want to spend on me."

"We don't need the whole saga," Poe said, gesturing with his good hand. "Just tell us what went through your head before you went to Exegol."

Ben clenched and unclenched his fists at his side, weighing how much they would understand, how much he could share without breaking down. "Do you know how Force bonds work?" he began.

"What, like you and Rey have?" Finn said.

"No, like normal Force-sensitive people have."

Poe snorted under his breath. "'Normal Force-sensitive.'"

Finn answered, "Yeah, I think I know what you mean."

"Well," Ben said, "my mother reached out to me, when Rey and I were on Kef Bir."

At the mention of Leia, they all fell silent.

"She didn't say much—just my name. 'Ben.' Then … she was gone."

Rey breathed audibly, a look of comprehension crossing her features. "That was why you were distracted," she realized. She turned to the others and said, "I felt Leia's death a moment later."

Poe shook his head in consternation. "I don't get it. You could have come back when she was alive, given her the reunion she wanted, helped her reach her goal of stopping the First Order; but you waited until she was dead?"

"She died reaching out to me." Ben swallowed. "I don't fully understand why …"

"She was already dying," Rey said softly. "I think she wanted to let you know you still had time to help us, even if she didn't."

Something occurred to Ben. "Is her body here?"

Poe answered with some difficulty. "Maz said it—kind of faded—disappeared—while we were on Exegol."

Amazed and relieved, Ben leaned back on his pillows, exhaling with a sound like something between a shudder and a sigh. "So she's one with the Force," he murmured. Perhaps he might be able to see her again, after all.

This digression seemed to satisfy their question about his motives. Ben was glad for it: he could not have shared how Rey and, more incredibly, Han had influenced his decision.

"Did you know what Palpatine wanted Rey to do?" Poe asked next.

This question gave Ben pause. "No. He told me he wanted her dead."

"Well, we're not sure if that was true. He might've been lying. Or he might have just changed his plans when you defected."

Ben looked to Rey. Now that the danger was gone, he was more curious than concerned. "What did he want you to do?"

Her lips parted, but no sound came out. Finn turned in his chair to look at her and asked, "Do you want to tell him, or do you want us to tell him?"

"What?" Ben demanded.

Rey seemed either unable or unwilling to say it, so Poe spoke for her. "He wanted her to kill him in a Sith sacrifice ritual so his spirit would live in her body."

"He … what?"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Ben felt slightly ill, imagining what had almost happened, what he had very narrowly prevented by coming to help Rey at the right moment.

"Ben?" Rey reached out slowly and put her hand over his. "It's okay. I'm okay—thanks to you." He looked at her with a helpless, penitent expression. The look in her eyes told him that she understood.

Finn stood up, moved back to Poe's side and spoke quietly to him. "I think he really didn't know."

Poe nodded resignedly. "Well, I guess that's all our questions at this point. Unless either of you have more." He glanced between Finn and Rey, who had drawn her hand back.

"Are you sorry?"

This question came from Rey, who had been silent for most of the conversation. The three men looked at her in surprise.

"That's the real heart of the matter, isn't it?" Rey said, looking pointedly between them before fixing her gaze on Ben once more. "Are you sorry for what you did?"

"If it's an apology you want, you'll have to be more specific than that," Ben said sardonically.

"Do you want a list?" Poe asked, matching his tone.

He and Finn started to confer on the side again:

"We don't even know all the things he's done."

"Maybe he should make his own list."

"Guys." At Rey's sharp voice, they turned back, but she was still looking sternly at Ben. He looked back at her, and in the space of a few seconds they seemed to have another entire conversation with their eyes.

Ben took a breath. "I … apologize … for all the times I hurt or tried to kill each of you."

Rey nodded approvingly. "That's a start. I accept your apology, at least as far as I'm concerned."

Finn seemed mildly impressed, if not entirely convinced.

Poe studied Ben and Rey for a moment, then spoke in a businesslike tone. "I think we're done for now. Thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Solo. Hope you're recovered soon." He pointed at Ben and said, "Don't go anywhere." Then he pointed at Rey and said, "Make sure he doesn't do anything." With that he turned and strode out of the infirmary.

Finn looked at Ben and then at Rey, started to open his mouth to speak, but then closed it and followed Poe outside.

"So am I a prisoner?" Ben asked.

Rey was uncertain. "I guess technically you surrendered."

"I said 'I come in peace,' not 'I surrender.' We didn't agree on any terms."

"Well, you're a guest now, whether they like it or not. And you don't have anywhere you need to go, do you?"

"Not really."

"You did well, by the way," she said supportively.

Ben huffed. "I don't know how you stand them."

Rey's smile was sympathetic and indulgent. "I know Poe can be a pain. Finn's not so bad, though. They're like the brothers I never had."

Ben's eyes traveled from her to R2-D2. "You're not still recording, are you?" he said suspiciously.

The droid beeped innocently, but then made a clicking sound as though turning something off.

"Artoo, why don't you catch up with Beebee-Ate?" Rey suggested, touching it lightly.

R2-D2 seemed to take the hint, and chirped a farewell to both of them as he rolled away.

Ben looked at Rey for a moment, trying to gauge her emotions. He was generally pretty good at reading her, but she knew how to keep her mind impervious to him, and he had misunderstood her in the past. "Are you angry at me?"

She sagged a little bit. "Not anymore. I'm just … sad that you took so long. We could have worked together all these months … with your help we could have ended the war sooner, saved more lives …" She broke off, and then shook her head. "Well, we can't dwell on the past, or what could have been."

"That may be the first thing you've ever said that I agree with," Ben said, smiling slightly.

Rey seemed to know what he was thinking, and countered him, "That's not the same thing as letting the past die. In fact, everything that's happened has made me want to look into it more."

"Why?"

"To understand how we got to where we are now—and figure out how to avoid making the same mistakes again."

"How will you do that?"

She glanced around, making sure none of the medics or patients were listening, and confided, "I've been thinking about going to the planets that were important to our families, and trying to learn more about them, since they were so tied up with the events of the galaxy. I don't suppose you would have any suggestions?"

Ben considered her, and took a moment to decide whether or not to say anything. He was not convinced that her idea was a wise one, but he appreciated that she valued his opinion enough to ask. He could think of one place that was not particularly dangerous, that would actually be enjoyable to visit.

"We both had grandparents who came from Naboo," he offered. "That was Palpatine's home planet, and my biological grandmother's—that is, my mother's mother. There might be information about them there."

Rey smiled, a true, happy, thankful smile. "That sounds like an excellent place to start. Any others?"

Anyone who entered the infirmary for the next few hours caught sight of the two of them talking, pleasant and animated, as though they were old friends. Which, in a way, they were.


	3. Clemency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey proposes a new living situation for Ben, who receives some surprises from some of the Resistance members.

To his credit, Poe did not rush to a decision regarding where Ben would go after recovering from the battle. Rey appreciated that. At least, she tried to. As Poe sought counsel from just about every person in the Resistance base, she suspected that he hoped to have his own opinions confirmed.

The officers were split on the matter—not between each other, but within themselves. No one was eager to punish the only child of their recently deceased general, and they owed him a debt of gratitude for the aid he had given Rey on Exegol. On the other hand, the general consensus was that he was too dangerous to keep around, too unpredictable to be trusted, and too guilty to be allowed complete freedom.

A few, including Zorii Bliss, thought that he deserved death, which seemed to be the safest way to make sure he was not a problem in the future. Others thought death would be too easy, too light a penalty; he might even welcome it as an escape. No one could agree on what would be most just.

Lando, one of the few people alive who had known Ben before his turn to the Dark Side, did not give direct advice, but he shared his thoughts with Poe anyway. "I told you we got through the Rebellion because we had each other. You rallied the Resistance by convincing them they weren't alone. It sounds like when Rey was alone on Exegol, the one person who came to help her was Ben."

Rose had every reason to hate Kylo Ren: her planet had been decimated by the First Order, her sister had been killed during the evacuation of D'Qar, and he had personally hurt and almost killed Finn. Yet she did not display any anger toward him. After hearing the full report from Rey, and having the story confirmed by Ben, Rose's assessment was simple but poignant. "He stopped fighting what he hated. Instead he saved what he loved."

Finn did not offer an opinion, even when Poe pressed him for one. "I don't know what to think … and I don't feel right judging or punishing someone I used to be like."

Poe scoffed at this. "You're nothing like him. You never were."

He could not discern the emotions in Finn's expression. "You don't know that."

Rey patiently waited until Poe had spoken to every other person before she spoke to him. "I don't suppose you want to hear what I think, do you?"

"I'm pretty sure I can guess," Poe said coolly.

"Actually, I had an idea that no one else seems to have thought of."

Poe looked at her skeptically, but Finn gestured for her to go on.

Ben himself was unaware of the particulars of these conversations, though he could sense the general air of unease hanging over the base.

When Rey came to see him again after a day of meetings, Ben said flatly what they both knew. "They don't want me here."

Rey inclined her head. "There's been discussion about what you should do, or what should be done with you. There's no formal government in place, so there's a lot to figure out; and out of all our priorities, no one is sure where you fit in."

"What options are they arguing about?"

"I convinced them that you shouldn't be executed—"

"Really? Thanks."

"—but they aren't keen on having you walk around freely. If you're imprisoned, no one really wants or feels qualified for the job of guarding you."

Ben looked at her. "No one?"

Rey lowered her eyes. "They seem to think I'm needed in other areas."

"And what do you think?"

She looked back up at him and said, "I think you deserve peace, just as much as everyone else who survived this war."

Peace. What a strange concept. Ben Solo had been born at the end of a war and grown up in a time of relative peace in the galaxy. But his mind and spirit had never been at peace, and he had spent the last seven years training for and engaging in warfare.

When he had decided to help Rey, he had not counted on making it out of Exegol alive, so he had not bothered to plan further than that.

He had meant what he said about being done with the First Order, with political and military pursuits. But he could hardly imagine himself fitting into any stable, peaceful society.

"I had one idea," Rey ventured. "The others are open to it, but I thought we should get your opinion."

"I'm listening."

"I can take you to a remote, hard-to-find place. The locals are peaceful and don't ask many questions. I don't think they have regular interplanetary travel. Chewie and I are the only people alive who have been there. No one from offworld will find you there, so you won't have to defend yourself against anyone who wants revenge."

"So it's exile."

"… If you want to call it that. But we can negotiate the details. I can go there—to make sure you're still there, and that you're alright. And we'll probably still see each other through the Force."

"Do you think so?" Ben asked.

The question surprised her. "Why wouldn't we?"

"Palpatine drained the life force from our bond," he reminded her.

Rey stilled as she considered, for the first time, the possible consequences of that. "Does that mean …"

Ben shrugged. "I don't really know what it means—how it might have impacted our connection. Dyads in the Force are pretty rare, and I've never heard of this happening to one."

They both sat in thoughtful silence, remembering and reflecting.

"You gave me part of your life force," Rey pointed out. "So in a way, part of you lives in me, right?"

"I suppose so."

"Then we might still have some connection. And even if we don't … the Force brought us together. I think it'll keep us together."

"Maybe," Ben said slowly. "Or maybe it just did that so we could defeat Snoke and Palpatine. If we've already accomplished its purpose for us—"

"If we have, I'll come back to check on you anyway. I'm not going to drop you off and leave you to be alone forever." Rey stopped after this adamant declaration, seeming embarrassed again, and tried to return to a more formal tone. "Would you agree to such an arrangement?"

Ben considered this, and could not think of anything much better. "I guess that sounds alright."

Rey nodded. "Good. I'll let the others know." She paused. "There's one other thing we should discuss. It's about your mother. The officers are figuring out how to distribute her belongings. There isn't much, but … we thought you might want to see, in case there's anything you want."

"… Oh."

Seeing his reaction, Rey said gently, "You don't have to, if you don't want to."

"Yeah, I'll look."

Rey and Chewbacca helped him to walk, partly because he needed it, and partly to make it clear to anyone who saw them that Ben was moving around the base under their supervision.

It was strange, for Ben, to think that Leia had lived and worked with these people for the final years of her life. He might have been closer to her at one time, but they had known her more recently; she might as well have been two different people.

Maz Kanata, Commander D'Acy, and Lieutenant Connix were waiting for them in Leia's former quarters. The general's belongings had been laid out on the bed, about a dozen-odd items of various sizes.

"She was holding this when she died." Maz held up a golden medal on a sash. "You recognize it?"

Of course Ben recognized it. "Dad's."

"She presented it to him after the first Death Star was destroyed." Maz proffered the medal. "If either of them were here now, I think they would have given it to you."

Ben looked at her, and then at the medal; then he shook his head. "I don't deserve it." He looked over at Chewbacca, who had known Leia longer than anyone else now alive. "Chewie—you should have it. You helped him that day, and you knew him best."

Chewbacca accepted the medal appreciatively, growling his thanks.

Most of the other items were jewelry and trinkets, things Ben had no need or desire for. "Anyone can have those." He nodded to Rey and the female officers. "You worked with her. You can take your pick."

None of the women moved.

"Leia already gave us so much," Rey said quietly.

"These were things she would have kept in her family," Connix mused. "But if he's not taking them …"

"There is a mausoleum on Naboo," D'Acy posited, "where General Organa's mother is buried. We can leave them in its keeping. In name, they will still belong to the general's next of kin."

Ben nodded in agreement.

Poe joined them to discuss—or rather argue about—the custody of Leia's droids. As her son and her next-in-command, Ben and Poe seemed to have the greatest claims to them. Rey wanted Ben to have at least one droid to keep him company and provide him with help. But neither of the men particularly wanted charge of C-3PO.

"What's a protocol droid going to do in exile?" Ben asked.

"Translate for you and the locals, if you need to talk to them," Rey shot back, ever practical.

"I'd rather live in complete silence than have him running my ear off."

"All the more reason to send him with you," Poe retorted.

"Excuse me!" They turned at the sound of C-3PO's metallic voice. "If anyone would like to hear my opinion—"

The humans exchanged slightly guilty looks, but C-3PO did not notice as he shuffled up to them. "Master Ben, I have been told that I have served your family for longer than my memory bank has recorded, which is a considerable amount of time in itself. It would be my privilege to continue in your service."

Ben looked at him for a long moment, his mouth twisting as he searched for a diplomatic response. "Honestly, Threepio, I think you'd do better serving the Resistance. They're more likely to need you as they travel to different places. If it makes you feel any better, I think they were more like my mother's family these past years. She'd probably want you to stay with them."

C-3PO bowed his head respectfully at the mention of Leia. "If you say so, sir."

"You should probably come with us to drop him off," Rey told the droid. "I'll need you to help me talk to the locals."

R2-D2 slid forward, calling for their attention next. Rey laid a hand on him and said, "Ben should at least keep R2-D2. He could come in handy."

"And give him a means of communication?" Poe exclaimed.

"We'll monitor it," Rey answered smoothly. "He should have a way to contact us if there's ever an emergency. And who knows—we might need to contact him someday."

Once the plan was in place, Rose helped Rey gather supplies for Ben to take to his new home. Although Rey said food and shelter could be obtained on the island, she wanted to leave him with some reserves. She tried not to ask for too much, and Poe tried not to deny her requests.

When his injuries were healed and all preparations had been made, Ben expected his leavetaking to be short. Lando and Chewbacca were the only ones who wanted to wish him well, and Rose was the only Resistance member he wanted to thank with more than just diplomatic politeness. But when they finished loading the Millennium Falcon, R2-D2 needed a moment to bid farewell to BB-8, and it turned out that a few others wanted a word with Ben before he left civilization forever.

"Ben Solo!" Maz Kanata strode up to him on her short legs, carrying something. "I have something for you." She held out a paper book with a thin leather cover. Ben had studied such ancient objects during his training as a Jedi. But this one seemed newly made, untouched by time. When he knelt and took the object in his hands, he saw that it had no title or decoration, and when he flipped through the pages, he found that they were blank.

"What is this?" he asked finally.

"Your log."

"What, like a ship's log?" Lando said. Books and other primitive forms of communication had been used for such purposes long ago, but captains now used holorecorders or other means of technology, often built into their vehicles.

"He will need it," Maz assured him. She turned back to Ben, who looked at her quizzically. "You are about to begin a journey. You need to know where you've been in order to plan where you're going."

"I'm not going anywhere. My journey is over."

"If that were true, you wouldn't be here now. The Force isn't finished with you. You must answer the questions you've been avoiding."

Ben looked at the book again, and realized that some of the pages did have some writing on them, questions meant to prompt a response. "You came up with this?"

"I, and Rey, and our healer."

"I'm already healed." Ben indicated his leg, which was now fully functional.

"I would expect a former Jedi to know better." Maz poked her finger into his chest. "You are more than this matter, young Solo."

Ben did not know Maz well, but he knew better than to try to argue with her, so stood and he tucked the book into his jacket. "Thank you."

She nodded once, then turned and walked away. But then someone else approached: Finn. "Hey—Solo." His greeting was casual, or at least was supposed to appear so. "Can I have a word before you go?"

Ben could not imagine what the man might have to say to him. Finn also seemed uncertain, once they had moved a short distance away from the others. He folded his arms and shifted his weight awkwardly.

"I don't know if you know this," he said. "But I'm Force-sensitive."

"I didn't know. But somehow that doesn't surprise me," Ben said, remembering their few fateful interactions.

Finn looked at him solemnly. "I didn't want to ask about this in front of the others, but … on Exegol, when we were escaping … I felt Rey … die." He turned his face away for a moment, overcome with emotion, and had to collect himself before he spoke again. "But a few minutes later … I felt her come back. She says that was because you saved her—that she died, but you brought her back with Force healing, and that it almost killed you."

"That's true."

For a moment the two of them simply looked at each other. Then Finn sighed. "Look, we probably won't ever see each other again, and that suits me just fine, but I need to get this off my chest." He pointed a finger at Ben, almost in his face. "I'm still not cool with what you did on Jakku, or Starkiller, or Crait. I won't forget everything you put us through. And I don't like this …" He waved his hand in Rey's general direction. "… thing you have with Rey." Ben glowered at him, but then, to Ben's surprise, Finn's face softened. "But I appreciate you saving her." He held out his hand, as though expecting Ben to shake it.

Ben stared, amazed and incredulous. When he did not move immediately, Finn gave him an impatient look, as though to say, Come on already. Ben cautiously grasped his former enemy's hand. They shook once, then quickly released each other.

Finn nodded curtly. "May the Force be with you."

It had been years since anyone had said those words to Ben. He had never expected to hear them again, much less have them addressed to him. Now he struggled to recall them to his own tongue. "… May the Force be with you. Finn."

Rey, R2-D2 and BB-8 were too far away to hear the words being exchanged, but they saw the handshake. R2-D2 beeped something optimistic, and BB-8 chirped his agreement.

Rey glanced at them, smiled, and nodded. "I think so too."


	4. Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben talk about his parents as they travel together to his new home.

Ben had never expected to set foot on the Millennium Falcon again. When he realized that was the ship Rey intended to use, part of him wanted to ask her to choose a different one.

But he had resolved to stop running from the past, and that meant facing it—and all that reminded him of it. So he followed Rey, C-3PO, and R2-D2 up the ramp, stood watching as the door closed, and then turned around to face the ship's interior.

It was just as he remembered it, only now it was even shabbier than it had been in his childhood. There was no jolt of recognition, no shock at being back; in fact, it felt normal, as though it were natural for him to be there. Almost as if Han might round the corner and sit at the dejarik table, where the droids were now settling in for the journey.

Rey had started toward the cockpit, but then realized Ben was not following her. She turned back and found him running his hands absently over the walls. "Are you okay?"

Her voice broke him out of his reverie. He folded his arms and shifted his weight, glancing anywhere but at her. "Yeah."

"Does it bring back memories?" she asked quietly.

"… Yeah."

"Maybe—if you want—you can tell me some on the way."

He looked at her then, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "You probably heard them all by now. You've met pretty much everyone who owned or flew this hunk of junk."

"Yeah, but none of them were you."

They looked at each other for a moment after she said that, until Rey's cheeks colored slightly. Clearing her throat, she glanced back at the cockpit and then at him. "I, um—I could use a copilot."

Ben stared. Perhaps he should have realized, since no other pilots had joined them for this journey, but he was still surprised.

Rey saw his reaction and said, "Or I could ask Chewie—"

"No," Ben said quickly, "I can—I don't mind." He gestured for her to lead the way. Rey turned down the familiar passage, with Ben following behind.

He had to stop and grasp the doorframe when they entered the cockpit. This was the setting of his clearest memories of Han. This was where Ben had most often wanted to be as a child, watching the flashing lights, staring out the viewport, listening to his father's jokes and stories and explanations for how everything worked. On good days, Ben had thought him the funniest, smartest, bravest person in the galaxy.

He turned his face upward to fight the stinging sensation in his eyes. As he did, he was startled to see the object hanging from the ceiling at the front: Han's golden dice. That was when he finally stepped forward, coming up between the two chairs. Rey watched him curiously from the pilot's seat.

"They're still here," Ben murmured, reaching out in disbelief. He grasped the dice loosely between his fingers and looked to Rey. "My dad … he put them in every vehicle he flew. Said he had them when he was a kid on Corellia, and that he used them to win the Millennium Falcon from Lando. He used to let me play with them. I thought—on Crait—"

He stopped, and Rey regarded him with surprise and, for the first time since Exegol, suspicion. "What about Crait?" she asked.

Ben lowered his hand. "Skywalker must have brought them—or a projection of them. I found them inside the base." He glanced sideways at Rey. "I was actually holding them when I saw you. But then they vanished, right after you did."

"They've been here since the day I found the ship."

Ben folded his arms, leaning against the dashboard. "I never asked you—how did you find it?"

Rey smiled, and her answer was both nostalgic and a bit rueful. "It was sitting at Niima Outpost on Jakku for years. When your men were chasing Finn and BB-8 and me, it was the only ship we could reach in time to escape."

They had the same thought then: There was still so much of the story—even the parts that they had caused, or experienced, or felt results of—that they had not pieced together. There were so many strands of fate that had become intertwined without their knowing.

Rey stood, and Ben stepped back as she stepped forward, reaching for the dice. She took them down from their hook, shook them once in her hand, and then held them out to Ben. "You should keep them. If I get the Falcon and Chewie gets the medal, you should have something of your father's." Before Ben could take them, she reached into her bag with her other hand and produced Leia's lightsaber. "And your mother's."

Another surprise. "You'd furnish me with a weapon?"

Rey smiled in that wry way Ben had seen so much in the past few days. "Well, I couldn't in front of Poe. But I, for one, don't expect you to go slaughtering your new neighbors."

Ben shook his head. "You were her student."

"You're her son."

"I didn't act like it."

Rey frowned at him. "Do you think that mattered to her?"

Ben matched her expression. "It matters to me. I don't deserve it."

"Maybe not before. You do now." She held out both her hands, presenting the dice and lightsaber to him, and Ben could see from the look on her face that she was not going to let him argue more.

He grasped both items, but he did not lift them from her hands right away. As their eyes met over their hands, it occurred to both of them that they were once again making physical contact in a confined space. But the chatter of the droids in the back and the sight of rebels through the viewport reminded them that they were not quite alone.

Before they could say or do anything more, Poe Dameron's voice sounded from the control panel. "Rey, what's the holdup?"

That was when Ben took the heirlooms and sat down in the co-pilot's chair. Rey pressed a button and answered, "Nothing. We're ready. Preparing for takeoff."

Ben had never seen Rey pilot before—he had barely been conscious the only time they were in a vehicle together. It quickly became apparent that she knew the Millennium Falcon well, which was impressive in itself. As they left Ajan Kloss, going back and forth about what to do and what not to do, he learned that there were some modifications to the ship that she was aware of and he was not. It was a little off-putting that she now knew it better than he did. But then again, hadn't the same thing happened between her and each member of his family? That had particularly been the case with Leia, since Rey had spent an entire year training under her, whereas she had only spent a few days each with Han and Luke.

After making the jump to hyperspace, they passed a few minutes in silence, just watching the hypnotic blur of light through the viewport. Ben knew it would be the last time he saw that strange, beautiful sight.

Finally Ben broke the silence: "Did she ever talk about me?"

Rey did not need to ask to whom he referred. "Not often. We were always busy, whether we were together or working separately. And I think it hurt her … but sometimes you couldn't be avoided. After Starkiller, she asked me what happened. I told her everything I saw." She watched Ben's expression, but he managed to keep it neutral as he heard this. She continued, "Then after we escaped Crait, I asked her about you, about what made you change. After everything that had happened … well … I couldn't bring myself to tell her all the details. I didn't want to give her false hope. But she held out hope for you anyway." She turned the chair so she could look directly at Ben. "She loved you to the end."

Ben nodded, his throat tight. "I know."

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Ben spoke again. "I didn't tell your friends this, but … on the Death Star, after you left … I thought I saw my father."

Rey was confused, though not disbelieving. "You mean—like in the Force, or—"

"No. It was just a memory. It was like … everything I'd been trying not to think about finally broke through."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"He said he missed me. He asked me to come home. And we talked about—her. I knew what I had to do, but I didn't think I had the strength … and he said I did." Ben shook his head. "I couldn't—say what I wanted—but he said he knew anyway."

"Of course he did," Rey said softly. "I didn't know him long—and I haven't known you as Ben Solo much longer—but you remind me of him, and your mother."

Ben was surprised by this. It was one thing for Chewbacca and Lando to make such comparisons—they had known Han and Leia for years—but he had not expected them from Rey. "Do I?"

"Little things. You have some of the same mannerisms. The way you carry yourself—when you're not in a helmet and cape, that is. I didn't really notice until you came to me on Exegol."

Ben deliberated for a moment before he decided to speak. "That's another thing I didn't want to say in front of your friends. My mother was one reason I went. My father was another. But you were one too."

She looked at him with gentle, understanding eyes. "I know."

A series of beeps and whistles alerted them of R2-D2's approach. They both turned to see the little droid coming in. It asked if either of them wanted to play dejarik.

"You know, Artoo, I think I will," Ben said, standing up. "It's the last chance I'll have for a while."

"I'll play the winner," Rey volunteered.

Half an hour later, Ben heard Rey laugh for the first time. She seemed to find the tension between him and his family's droids quite amusing.

"Did you let me win?" Ben demanded. He turned to Rey and said, "He used to do that when I was a kid, learning how to play."

"Well, I'm not going to let you win," Rey promised.

"Of course not. You never do."

The droids watched the game with fascination. Ben had learned it from a younger age, but it had been a long time since he last played it, whereas Rey had learned and played it recently.

When they were almost near the end of the game and the end of the journey, Ben asked casually, "Are you going to tell me where we're going now?"

Rey raised her brow at him. "Are you trying to divert my attention?"

"I'm just wondering whether we have enough time to declare a winner."

"We can finish the game after making planetfall if we have to."

"Rey. I'd rather not be surprised when we get there."

"Fine." She switched off the game, making the holographic pieces vanish, and folded her arms on the table. "The name of the planet is Ahch-To. The locals are a race called the Lanai. They're not the friendliest, or the most intelligent, but they're helpful for some things. And they know how to throw a good party."

The amused look on her face as she said that afterthought could not be missed. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh, just some stupid joke your uncle played while I was there."

"My uncle … played a joke?"

"Yeah … but I'll tell you about it another time. In fact, Ben …" She became more serious. "… when we arrive, after I show you around, there are some things I think we should talk about. Things we haven't had time to until now."

He nodded, agreeing. Though they had discussed quite a lot in the past few days, there were some topics they had not had the time or energy to broach yet.

As it turned out, they had enough time to finish the game, but it ended with an unsatisfactory draw. In a show of sportsmanship, they shook hands, then returned to the cockpit for the final leg of the journey.

Ben did not recognize the route, or the system they entered, or the planet they approached. Ahch-To was mostly covered by water, but as they came closer he saw that there were some bodies of land. Rey directed them to an island that stood alone, with some large hills—or small mountains—forming peaks, slopes and valleys. Its coast was made up mostly of rocky cliffs, not well suited for water travel. There was a landing platform, but the only buildings seemed to be primitive stone structures.

"What is this place?" Ben asked.

"It's where Skywalker hid all those years he was missing. It's where the original Jedi temple was built. Some of it is still standing. The Lanai who live here have kept them intact."

Ben felt the enormity of this new knowledge as they made planetfall. He could sense Luke's presence as keenly as he had once felt it on Dagobah, the planet where Luke had begun his Jedi training.

He could not keep his anger out of his voice as he said, "You brought me to live where he lived?"

Rey shot him a look. "It's the most unfindable place in the galaxy. You'll be safe, and everyone will feel safe from you."

Ben could not help but think back to the day his parents sent him away to live and train with Luke. He had felt abandoned, rejected, forced onto a path he had not chosen. At least at that time he was surrounded by other Force-sensitive children and felt safe in his uncle's care. Now, he would be even more alone—more than ever before in his life.

The feeling of Rey's hand on his shoulder startled him out of his bitter thoughts. When he looked at her he saw concern and contrition in her expression.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't realize it would bother you. I thought it was the best option. I'm sorry I can't do better."

Her frank, sincere statements immediately chastened Ben. Of course this was different from that time.

For one thing, Rey was determined to visit and keep an eye on him. Even if their bond was no longer intact, he would never be alone so long as she was alive.

For another, he had not done anything wrong when he was a child; his present circumstances were the natural consequence of his actions. He had hurt too many people to be trusted to live among them. They were right to fear him. During his time in the First Order he had worked very hard to be feared. It was ironic that he should have succeeded so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Media referenced: Rey and Snoke's "Age of Resistance" comics; a deleted scene from _The Last Jedi_ ; and _Resistance Reborn_ by Rebecca Roanhorse.


	5. Separation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey shows Ben around Ahch-To and tells him what she learned from Luke. They receive a surprise visit, and then must face the moment they part ways again.

Rey insisted that they approach the locals and explain their reason for being there before doing anything else on the island.

On their way from the landing pad to the Lanai village, they passed by something that made Ben pause: the charred remains of a vehicle that he just barely recognized. "Is that—is that my TIE fighter?"

"Um, yeah."

"What is—how did—"

"I was going to stay here," Rey blurted out. "After we fought—after I almost killed you—I thought I would stay here, where I couldn't hurt anyone. That was what Luke did, after he almost killed you. But … he wouldn't let me stay."

Ben looked at her with narrowed eyes. "You saw him?"

"He gave me your mother's saber and his old X-wing. He had submerged it when he wanted to exile himself."

"So he can manifest himself," Ben murmured.

He was still processing this new information while they interacted with the Lanai. They did not act very friendly, and they looked on Rey with a degree of suspicion. She seemed awkward around them, though she tried to be diplomatic.

"Threepio," she said, "tell them that this is Master Skywalker's nephew, he's going to live here now, and he might have occasional visitors."

C-3PO repeated this to the Lanai in their language. Their reactions differed slightly, though it was hard to tell from their expressions.

Finally C-3PO turned to the humans again. "The caretakers say they will not bother you so long as you do not bother them."

Ben nodded. "That sounds fair."

"They also insist that you both respect the integrity of the Jedi temple and village as well as the natural environment."

Rey looked sheepish at this, and Ben wondered if there was a story behind that.

"Finally, they ask whether the two of you are cousins, or brother and sister," C-3PO finished.

"… What?" Ben spluttered.

Rey laughed. "Ah—I forgot: when I was here, Luke told them I was his niece."

Ben considered this ambivalently. "Well, considering my family pretty much adopted you, I guess it's not much of an exaggeration."

"Well … you can tell them the truth, that … we're not blood relatives. Or that I'm not, but they are."

When they had finished the obligatory visit, Rey said, "Threepio, can you and Artoo unload the supplies while I show Ben around? You can bring them to the Jedi village. Artoo knows the way. We'll meet you there."

"Certainly, Miss Rey."

Ben and Rey exchanged smiles as the droid left them. It was the first time the two of them were completely alone, without other people or droids nearby, since Exegol.

When they reached the village, Rey spread out her arms and gestured grandly. "Here it is. You can take your pick."

"Did Luke live in one of them?"

"Yes—um—" She turned in a circle to pick out which one. "That one," she said, pointing.

"Then definitely not that one."

As they were looking around, Rey stopped in front of a half-finished hut, tilting her head to the side as she studied it. "Huh. The caretakers must have rebuilt it."

"What?"

"This is … where I was when we touched hands." She looked down, trying to hide her smile and keep herself from giggling. "Luke was so scandalized when he saw us, he made the whole hut explode."

"That's not surprising," Ben remarked. "What happened after that?"

"I attacked him and made him tell me the truth about what happened when you left. That was when I decided to go to you."

What a turning point that had been. The memory was beautiful, but the events that followed had been so wrought with emotion and misunderstanding and violence that remembering them now was painful.

"I think this is a good time and place to talk," Rey said. Once again, she held out her hand to him in invitation. Ben reached for it slowly, interlacing their fingers, and let her lead him to some stone benches surrounding a fire pit.

When they sat down, Rey turned to him, looked directly into his eyes, and said, "I want to tell you what Luke told me then. It was closer to the truth than his earlier story, and it more or less matched your version of events."

Ben would have let go of her hand then, but Rey held on to him. Her eyes never left him as she described Luke's account of that fateful night, the shame he had felt for his moment of instinct, and the regret he felt upon seeing his nephew's reaction.

"He came here because he felt responsible for what happened to you—what you went on to do," she said. She was earnest, implicitly pleading with him to believe her, to understand his uncle's point of view. "He was your master, and he had failed you in the worst way."

"It figures," Ben said bitterly. "Sometimes I think the Skywalker legacy is letting people down—especially each other. I'm no exception."

Rey had no good response to this, so she returned to the subject of Luke. "Do you know why you couldn't find him?"

"You mean why we couldn't find the map sooner?"

"No, I mean why you couldn't sense him in the Force while he was hiding from you."

"… No, I don't know exactly. I assumed because he was hiding."

Rey explained that Luke had been cut off from the Force during most of his time on Ahch-To, but he had opened himself up to it while she was there, and he had poured out his entire being to project himself on Crait. Rey had not fully understood this until Luke spoke to her after his death.

"You may not believe this, Ben, but I'm convinced that he loved you. That's why he came back and faced you. He wanted to apologize. You both needed that closure."

"It didn't feel like closure to me," Ben protested. "The last thing he said sounded like a threat. When I realized he wasn't really there—before he disappeared—the last thing he said to me was, 'See you around, kid.'" He scoffed. "Kid. He never called me that. You know who did?"

"Your father?" Rey guessed.

"He wanted to throw me off. I spent the last year looking over my shoulder, wondering if he was going to show up and haunt me."

Rey looked at him curiously. "Do you wish he had?"

In truth, Ben did not know whether he was more irritated or grateful that Luke had not appeared to him. On one hand, he was rather relieved. On the other hand, he was angry at being left in a state of suspense, and Luke's failure to show up seemed like yet another of his family's empty promises.

Ben stood up from the bench, looking around before turning to face Rey. "You said the Jedi of old helped you on Exegol."

"Yes."

"If they can act from beyond the grave—if some of them can communicate with the living—I don't understand why they didn't for me. When I learned my grandfather was Darth Vader—I didn't know, until I was about your age—I was so confused about who he had been, and who I was. I wanted to know him so badly that I thought I heard his voice speaking to me, when it was really Palpatine all along." Ben paced around the fire pit, his voice rising with his anger. "Why didn't my real grandfather reach out to me? Why didn't Luke, if he cared so much?" He almost laughed, running a hand through his hair. "Heck, I'm named after Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I know for a fact that he could commune with the dead when he was alive, and with the living when he was dead. Why didn't they show up for me?"

Rey was blinking back tears. She shook her head helplessly. "I don't know. I wish I knew. I wish someone had been there for you. There's so much we still don't know." She took a breath and went on, with that unrelenting optimism, "But now you might have the chance to find out. Palpatine's gone, you won't have his voice in your head; and if you're open to facing your past, then maybe you'll be able to hear them."

Ben sat down heavily, resting his forearms on his knees. "I don't know what to think, Rey."

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to think about it."

Before either of them could speak further, C-3PO tottered up with R2-D2 rolling behind him. "Excuse me, but the supplies have all been unloaded."

"Thanks, Threepio," Rey said. "Why don't you go back to the ship? You can power down if you want."

"Well—if you wish." C-3PO turned to Ben and bowed. "Master Ben, it was good to see you after so many years, and I wish you well."

Ben actually smiled. "I appreciate that. I think you're one of the few who does."

"I guess this is goodbye for you and me, Artoo," Rey said, kneeling down to meet the shorter droid's eye level. "Take care of Ben for me—for all of us."

The droid made an affirmative sound. Then Rey straightened up and faced Ben, offering her hand again. "Come on. I want to show you around before nightfall."

Rey gave Ben a full tour of the island, pointing out where he could find food and fresh water. He was not fazed by the prospect of spearfishing or milking thala sirens (he rather enjoyed seeing how she blushed when she told him about that option). He was used to an ascetic lifestyle: he had spent his adolescence in a monastery, and the years since then in a military organization.

She spent several minutes—much more time than he thought necessary—trying to introduce him to a local avian species. "They're called porgs. A few stowed away in the Falcon when we last left. I think Chewie originally meant to eat them, but they ended up as friends."

"Do you recommend them for food?"

"Not really. I think it's better to stay on good terms with them. They can be a nuisance, but most of the time they're harmless." Rey herself seemed to find them endearing, Ben noticed with some amusement.

He was surprised when she brought him to the entrance of the mirror cave. "That's the cave I told you about, the first time I was here," she reminded him.

Ben looked down at the blowhole, and then back at her. "You trust me on an island with a cave that has a strong connection to the Dark Side?"

"I do. In fact, I think it might be helpful to you."

"In what way?"

"It shows you truths that you don't want to face—things you know that you don't want to admit. It showed me who I am and who I might become."

"People have been trying to tell me who I am and who I should be my whole life."

"Well, now you can decide for yourself. And so can I."

Ben was not sure how he would be able to be anyone or anything if he was to live completely alone. Who was he if he was of no relation to anyone? If he was not the grandson of Darth Vader, the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo, the nephew and student of Luke Skywaker, the apprentice of Snoke, the master of the Knights of Ren or half of Rey's dyad, who was he?

One feature of the island had changed, which puzzled Rey. "There used to be a tree there," she said pointing to a charred stump. "It was hollowed out. It served as a library for the original Jedi texts."

"So what happened to it?"

"I took the texts with me when I left. I don't know what happened to the tree. Maybe Luke did something after I left."

Their final stop was the temple, which was situated on the highest point at the western end of the island. It turned out to be little more than a cave with some meditation plinths.

In the center of the cave, illuminated by the sunlight coming in through the west entrance, was a pool of water with a mosaic. When Ben came up to it, he recognized the image. "Do you know what this is?" he asked Rey.

"No."

"It's the Prime Jedi, the founder of the Jedi Order. It's supposed to be a symbol of balance—see how the light and dark are equal opposites."

"Like us?" Rey said, sounding a little shy. Ben rather liked hearing how she said that pronoun.

"Yeah. Like us."

They gazed on the mosaic a few moments longer before turning to the western entrance, which led them back into the open air. Here, the topmost meditation plinth was set on a cliff overlooking the sea. Rey walked around the plinth and touched it nostalgically. "This is where Luke taught me about the Force."

It felt eerie to Ben. "I can feel him." In fact, Luke's presence here felt stronger and different than anywhere else on the island. Something profound had happened to him here. "I think … this must be where he died."

They looked at each other from opposite sides of the plinth. Then, at the same moment, they sensed something—a presence, almost a calling—that made them turn their heads to look toward the sea and sky. They both stilled.

Luke and Leia stood side by side on the edge of the cliff. They were translucent, but somehow radiant, dressed in white robes reminiscent of the Jedi. They were both smiling, their eyes full of pride and love.

Ben and Rey stared. She was less surprised than him, and quite happy to see her old mentors looking so happy, so peaceful. But the sight shocked Ben and elicited mixed emotions in him. He had lived in fear of Luke for almost a decade, and he had long expected Leia to be, at the very least, reproachful if he ever saw her again. He could not help feeling some fear and shame. Yet they looked immensely pleased to see him. No one had looked so happy to see him besides Rey and, in his memory-vision, Han. In fact, they looked like they were proud of him, something he had craved his entire life.

No words were spoken. No words were needed. A silent understanding passed between the two parties. Then, the twins faded, revealing the sky behind them. Now the two youths could see Ahch-To's two suns setting over the water, casting a glorious red glow over the island and the ocean.

Rey looked away first, and saw that Ben was trembling, his gaze still transfixed on the spot where his mother and uncle had been. Rey slipped her hand into his. Ben clasped it and squeezed it, taking deep, shaky breaths.

"Do you want to sit down?" she asked gently.

He nodded, and Rey circled around to his side before they both sank to their knees. They remained there, hands clasped, until the suns slipped below the horizon.

Ben broke the almost sacred silence with a remarkably mundane comment. "I can't remember the last time I saw a sunset, or a sunrise."

"Well, now you have the perfect spot to see them, and nothing to stop you."

"Rey …" He finally looked at her. "I'm not happy about being here … but I'm glad you came with me."

She smiled at that, but her eyes were sad, wistful. Ben understood and felt similarly. They had only just discovered the power of their bond, learned to be comfortable in each other's company, and begun to actually enjoy being together. And now they were separating again.

"Come on," he said, stepping toward the entrance. "I'll walk you back to the ship."

"Thanks."

They did not speak much on the trek back to the landing platform. They started out at a brisk pace, helped by the downward slope of the terrain as they descended the mountain, but as they drew closer they slowed.

"I'm trying to remember if there's anything else I need to tell you," Rey stalled.

"If there is, you can just call Artoo," Ben reminded her.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

"Not really. But you've given me a lot to think about."

"You have the journal from Maz?"

He had almost forgotten about that, but he felt it inside his jacket. "Yeah."

"I won't ask to read it if you want it to be private, but I will check to see if you've used it. If you have, we'll consider that progress."

"Progress in what?"

She shrugged. "Healing. Rehabilitation. You can call it what you want."

They finally stopped and stood on the slope leading down to the landing platform. Then Rey turned around to look at Ben—and all she could do was look, wordlessly.

Though they had encountered each other on numerous occasions, this was the first time they had the opportunity and desire to exchange farewells. There was so much to say—and yet they both found themselves struggling for words.

"I think most people say 'I'll miss you' in these situations," Ben said. "But considering our history, I'll understand if you don't."

That brought a wry smile to her lips. "No hard feelings?"

He smiled back. "Not anymore."

"Good." Rey paused, and decided to be honest, even if it was awkward and made her a little emotional. "It has been nice—getting to see you like this—and spend time with you, these past few days. I think—I will miss that."

"I will too. And I'm sure I'll miss fighting by your side. I might even miss you trying to kill me."

She raised a hand threateningly. "Don't tempt me."

They both broke into laughter, and the fact that they could now laugh about such things made them laugh even more. At times, their having any kind of relationship other than that of enemies had seemed so improbable; yet now they were parting ways on good terms, as equals, as one-time allies, and somehow, incredibly, as friends.

They stood smiling at each other, until their laughter and smiles subsided. It was easier to make light of everything than to face the serious things they wanted to say.

Ben spoke first. "Rey … I don't know how to thank you."

Rey lowered her eyes. "Speak for yourself. You … I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you. If you hadn't come to help me, the galaxy might have been destroyed, because I couldn't have stood against Palpatine alone. I …"

Ben cut her off by coming up and embracing her. Rey immediately slid her arms around his middle, burrowing her face against his neck. They held each other for a long moment, breathing deeply, trying not to cry.

It occurred to Rey that hugging Ben was the closest she would ever come to hugging Leia or touching Han or Luke again. She had not had time to properly mourn for Leia yet, and now her grief was only tempered by her gratitude that Ben was still alive, that his family's sacrifices had not been in vain, that they would live on in him.

Ben's hand came up to the back of her neck, his fingers tangling her loose hair. She felt his breath on her cheek as he spoke softly into her ear. "Thank you. For everything. This is … more than I deserve."

Rey did not know if he was referring to their hug, their relationship, or simply the fact that he was allowed to live in peace. "You didn't deserve everything you went through," she whispered.

He was quiet for a moment before pointing out, "Neither did you." She had not done anything to merit all her suffering, nor anything to merit the blessings she received through his family, the Resistance, and the Force itself.

But after all the good she had done, all that she had suffered and sacrificed for the galaxy, she deserved every happiness. She deserved better than exile on a haunted hunk of rock. She had friends, freedom, and, for the first time in her life, prospects of a bright future.

Which was why, for the first time, Ben kept his mouth shut and did not ask her to join him on his path.

What he said instead was, "I will miss you, Rey."

"And I you," she admitted. "But we will see each other again—one way or another." She pulled away enough to look into his face. "You came back for me. And I'll come back for you. I promise."

"I believe you," Ben told her. Somehow, they both felt how meaningful that was.

Rey cupped his cheek—the one she had scarred, which was now healed—in one hand, rested her other hand on his heart, and kissed him.

She meant for it to be a brief farewell kiss. She had not expected him to tighten his arms around her and deepen the kiss, as though trying to make up for lost time. It made her heart ache, just when she had been trying to cheer him up; it made her want more, when she was trying to be content with less.

When they broke apart, still holding each other close, she sobbed. "Oh, Ben."

"Rey." He cradled her head in his hand and kissed her again. This time she kissed him back, disregarding whatever had restrained her before—shyness, decorum, self-preservation. For a few fleeting moments, they allowed themselves to express, deeply and genuinely, what they really felt: regret for all the opportunities they had missed, sorrow at being separated, joy that they were both alive, and hope that they would remain in each other's lives.

Even if—when—they saw each other again, it would be difficult. They would grow and change in each other's absence. But something would always connect them and draw them back together. If their own feelings were not enough to spur them on, the Force would cause their paths to intersect, either through their bond or through circumstances.

Ben only loosened his hold when Rey pulled away, as reluctant as he. "Goodbye, Ben."

"Goodbye, Rey."

"May the Force—" they both began, but halted when they heard the other.

"—be with you," Rey finished.

"Always," Ben said.

They smiled sadly at each other, and then Rey turned away and walked to the ship. She paused on the ramp, casting one last glance backward at him, as she had on Starkiller Base and Crait. This time, he was standing, whole and relatively happy.

She managed to hide her tears until she was in the corridor, out of sight of Ben or the droids. She allowed a few sobs to escape, then wiped her eyes before entering the cockpit.

Ben stayed outside to watch as the Millennium Falcon took flight, just as he had hundreds of times in his childhood. He was almost getting used to seeing Rey leave him in it. But unlike the other times, on this occasion they waved to each other through the viewport.

At his side once more, R2-D2 interjected a question. "It's for the best," Ben said, brushing aside the droid's concern.

That thought was in both of their minds, and as clear to each other as if they had spoken it aloud; but it was hard to tell who had it first, and whether they were reassuring themselves or each other.

Then, they both turned away from each other and started toward the places that they were determined to consider their new homes.


	6. Contact

Ben's first days in exile were the strangest and most difficult. At least, he hoped they were. Surely it could only get easier as time went on and he adjusted to living alone in this place.

On the one hand, he had many reasons to be happy, and he felt freer than he had ever been. The weights he had been carrying for months, for years, even his entire life, were gone, never to return. There was no one from whom he needed to shield his thoughts or emotions, no one to suspect of plotting to harm him. He did not have to adhere to a schedule, or obey any superior's orders or instructions. He could spend his time however he pleased.

On the other hand, he did not know what to do with himself. He was confined to the island, and he lacked a sense of purpose beyond simply surviving. As a Jedi trainee, he had conformed his goals to Luke's. During his time in the First Order, his fear and hatred of Luke had shaped his goals. Now, he was not part of any community. His family was gone, and he there was no one and nothing to whom he owed allegiance. He had no one to live for except himself … and Rey and Chewbacca, he supposed. There were still a few people who wanted him to live, and the possibility of seeing them again gave him something to live for. But what was he to do in the meantime?

He could have R2-D2 wake him up by a certain time each morning; or he could simply lie in his bed as long as he wanted. It was strange to have the choice, and hardly any consequence for one or the other. But after alternating between the two, he was not sure which one felt more satisfactory. It was not as though he had a lot that needed to be accomplished over the course of each day.

He spent the first day or two arranging his living space. He had no real furniture besides the crates of supplies, which contained emergency food and water rations, clothing, blankets, and a handful of simple tools. The crates could serve as chairs or tables depending on how he arranged them. The hut included a low bench to serve as his bed. A crate cover substituted as a window shutter when the weather was bad (which was very often).

Ben only had a few personal possessions to find places for. He put the journal and writing supplies from Maz on a shelf indented into the wall. He decided that he would wait to try writing in it when he felt settled in his new home.

While cleaning the hut, Ben found one stone in the wall came out to reveal a small interior compartment. He decided to put Leia's lightsaber there for safekeeping. It would be strange to not have a lightsaber always on hand. Ever since Ben had made his own saber as a Jedi apprentice, he had always had one near him; and since the night the temple was destroyed, he had always kept it near his bed in case he was attacked in his sleep. But if he was going to try to live without violence, he thought it best to try to make a clean break of it.

Perhaps someday he and Rey might try sparring with their lightsabers, just for fun. The thought made him smile.

He screwed a hook into the wall above the doorway for Han's dice. Before hanging them up, he kissed the dice the way Han always had before hanging them up in the _Millennium Falcon_ or whatever vehicle he was piloting. Hanging them above the door was the closest thing Ben could think of—since he would never leave this island, this hut might as well be his ship.

Ben appreciated that, unlike C-3PO, R2-D2 did not insist on constantly making its presence and opinions known. The little droid was content to rolls into a corner and shut down when it was not needed.

Once Ben had taken inventory of his possessions and set up his dwelling to his liking, he was left with the task of looking for ways to pass the time.

He inspected each of the huts, except for the one that Luke had occupied. Ben was not ready for that—he knew he would feel his uncle's presence even more if he touched the things Luke had owned and sat in the space where he had spent so much time. It was oppressive enough to walk where he had walked and do the daily tasks he had done in the last years of his life.

Ben supposed he could try to repurpose some of the huts. One would have to remain living quarters, in case he had a visitor who wanted to stay overnight—Rey had hinted that she and Chewie might make extended visits in the future. But others could serve different purposes. Perhaps one could be turned into a 'fresher, with a toilet and a bathtub. He could repurpose one of the crates as a tub, but he would have to find a way to collect enough freshwater—perhaps he could devise a way to collect rainwater during the frequent showers.

He tried the different ways Rey had suggested for gathering food and water. That took perhaps two or three hours each day—a small fraction of the time available to him. Cooking was a bit of a challenge, since he had not prepared his own meals in such a long time, but R2-D2 had some basic information and recipes in his memory, and Ben soon got the hang of it. He only wished there was a bit more variety. Maybe, if he asked Rey to bring him some seeds, he could try to plant a garden and grow other fruits and vegetables.

If the weather was fair, Ben ate his meals sitting outside. Doing this made him think of Rey—he had seen her memories of eating outside her AT-AT shelter in the evenings on Jakku. It was still strange to spend so much time out in fresh air, sunlight, and the natural elements, but he was learning to like it.

He spent some time each day meditating, a habit he had retained even after renouncing the Jedi. He could understand why the original Jedi had founded their order on this island: it had a stronger connection to the Force than any other place Ben had ever been, and he had visited the sites of some very powerful vergences in his lifetime. He sensed so much happening on and around the island. As desolate as it initially appeared, it could not be said that nothing happened here. There was a constant, almost perfectly balanced cycle of life, death, and rebirth.

Now that he was living there too, Ben had to wonder: Could he be part of that cycle? Did he have a place in the galaxy? Was this where he was meant to be? And could he be happy, or at least at peace, in this lonely yet deeply spiritual place?

He could not help feeling somewhat haunted, both by his past and by specific people who were no longer alive. There was no escaping Luke's influence. It permeated the island and was particularly strong in a few places, such as the stone ledge overlooking the ocean. This was where he had lived the last six years of his life, and where he had died after projecting himself to stop Kylo Ren from killing the Resistance. Everything Rey had taught Ben about the island, she had learned from observing Luke.

It was at one of those frequent moments when he happened to think fleetingly of Rey that he suddenly felt that familiar sensation, as though she had suddenly entered the room. Surprised, hopeful yet afraid to hope, he turned around slowly—and there she was, her face mirroring his emotions.

"Rey," he breathed.

"Ben." She said his name almost the same way she had said it when she awoke in his arms on Exegol. Her smile was almost the same, too: amazed and overjoyed. This time, he didn't hesitate to return it. "It's still intact."

"You say that as though you're happy about it." Ben's tone was light, almost teasing.

"I am," Rey said sincerely. "It means you won't be alone."

He nodded, his smile widening. "Neither will you."

They only had time to say this much, and look at each other a moment longer, before they disappeared from each other.

That interaction, brief as it was, left Ben feeling happier and more hopeful than he had been since he arrived on Ahch-To.

Even though the two connections were different in nature, seeing that he was still connected to Rey made him hopeful that he could contact some of his ancestors. He would rather talk with them directly than feel like they were following him unseen.

After learning that the voice he had heard over the past several years had been Palpatine and not Vader, he was curious to talk to his grandfather. But he was not sure his grandfather would want to talk to him, and his own feelings about the man were mixed at this point.

Ben did not particularly want to speak with Luke again. Seeing him had been quite enough. He supposed he was starting to feel less fear, anger and hatred toward the man, but he was not ready to exchange words again. There was too much shame on both sides.

Leia, on the other hand, he thought he would like to see. They had not been able to even exchange a few words before she died.

With this intention in mind, he went up to the temple, to the cavern with the mosaic pool, and sat there to meditate. Well over an hour passed as he reflected on his memories of Leia, of the last times he had felt her through the Force. He tried to reach out to her as he had sometimes searched for Luke and Rey, trying to sense the individual's presence in the great expanse of the galaxy. He grew frustrated as time passed with no result, and he began to feel the same kind of frustration and disappointment he had felt whenever he was neglected.

"Be with me." He almost felt like a child, reciting that mantra—it felt too much like what he had wanted when he was young. "Please. You weren't there for me when you were alive, and I …" His throat was becoming so tight that could not finish his sentence.

Then he felt something: a kind of warmth in the cavern, like another presence had suddenly entered. "I'm always with you, Ben."

He turned toward the voice, and there she was, just as she had appeared the day he arrived.

"Mom." He tried to get to his feet, but could only come up on his knees.

Leia's ghostly apparition walked up closer to him, her head only a little higher than his when he was kneeling. She lowered her hood from her head, tilting her head as she looked on him fondly. "My son."

"I can't believe you answered." The words were out of Ben's mouth before he could stop them, and he could not keep some bitterness out of them. His parents had communicated so infrequently while he was at school, and on the occasions when he had reached out, she had usually been too busy to answer.

She looked at him apologetically. "I'm so sorry, Ben."

"It's too late for that." He had thought that before, but as soon as he said it, he regretted it. He finally had her audience—why was he messing it up?

"I know. But I need to say it anyway. I need you to know it." She sat down next to him on the edge of the pool. "Ben … I don't know if I didn't say it enough, or if Snoke kept you from hearing it; but I have always—"

"Don't," Ben whispered.

"— _always_ loved you and felt proud of you. And I was never angry with you. I was only sad—because I felt how much your actions hurt you—and sorry I failed to prevent it. Can you forgive me?"

"I don't know." It was not in Ben's nature to be forgiving. He had always been sensitive, his emotions strong. Though he had never hated his parents, he had resented them for various reasons, and he did not let go of resentments easily.

"Can you try?" Leia pressed.

That word, "try," brought back something Luke used to say: he would quote the ancient Jedi master Yoda, who had taught him, "There is no try." But that was nonsensical, since trial was necessary for success or failure.

"Yes. I'll try."

"Thank you."

Ben hesitated. "Can you …"

"I already forgave you, Ben. I sensed how you felt—your pain, your grief—the moment you embraced the Dark Side, and the moment your father died."

He noticed that she said "your father died" instead of "you killed your father." Somehow, her trying to spare him the pain of hearing that hurt just as much as if he had.

They sat in silence for a moment before Ben asked haltingly, "Do you know how—where—Dad is?"

"Yes. He's at peace. So is Luke, and so are our parents. All six of them, in fact—two biological and four adoptive parents. I've seen them all." Seeming to anticipate Ben's next question, Leia explained, "Most of them can't appear this way—it's very difficult, and painful, to manifest as an individual again, after becoming one with the Force. Only a few have ever managed it."

"You're in pain, now?" That made Ben feel even worse.

Leia smiled reassuringly. "It's worth it to see you—to talk to you one more time. I wanted that, and you needed it. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Ben."

"Why? All I've done is cause you pain."

"Sweetheart … you may not remember, but you brought me—all of us—so much joy when you were born, and growing up. After losing my planet, my home … you helped me to heal. You gave us hope. You taught me how to love unconditionally, without a reason for it."

"I don't understand."

"Someday you will." Leia reached for his hand, and Ben was amazed to feel her touch—not quite the same as the touch of a living person, but more substantial than he had dared to imagine. He looked from their hands to her eyes, full of earnestness as she said, "I so hope you will."

Ben's throat felt tight. "Mom …"

Her lips drew back in a smile. "I know."

"No—please let me say this."

She nodded. Ben took a breath, squeezing her hand. "Mom … I'm sorry. For everything. And … I love you. And Dad."

"I know."

This time, Ben believed her.

Still holding his hand, Leia reached out with her other hand and touched his face, his hair. It was like being touched in a very vivid dream—even though he knew it was not real, it felt close enough. "Remember—you'll always be my son. My brave, handsome, compassionate son."

Ben nodded. He had tried so hard for so long to deny who he was, and whose he was, but now he accepted it.

He was not sure which of them pulled the other into the hug, but they were hugging—how long, he could not say—and when they finally drew back, she kissed his forehead and whispered, "Take care, Ben."

Then she let go of him, and the next moment, she was gone. Though it was not a surprise, it was still a disappointment.

The tears Ben had been blinking back finally came in full force, and he did not try to stop them now. He broke down and wept—for Leia, for Han, and even for Luke; for the family he had torn apart, and the future he had destroyed. He might still have had thousands of other sins to repent, hundreds of other deaths to mourn, but those were the worst burdens he had to carry.

But they forgave him, and they wanted him to move on. So, for their sake, he would have to try to forgive himself, and find a new purpose for his life.


	7. Reflection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains spoilers for the Snoke _Age of Resistance_ comic and _The Rise of Kylo Ren_.

A few days after seeing his mother, Ben went to the cave Rey had told him about.

Instead of waiting to be pulled in, he jumped into the blowhole, and was ready when he fell into the water. He kicked back up to the surface, climbed onto the stone floor, and found the glass-like wall Rey had described. He reached out and touched it, wondering if the mirror would show him the same kind of vision it had shown her.

It was similar, but different. Instead of a repeated image of himself, he saw dozens of variations of himself—all the same age, but with different clothes, and even different hairstyles and facial hair. He saw himself in Jedi robes, like those he had worn years ago; in traveling clothes, wearing his father's jacket; in his First Order getup, holding his mask. And there were other versions of himself that he could hardly identify, that had never existed in the past and were not likely to exist in the future: a moisture farmer, a senator, a New Republic pilot, a stormtrooper. He even saw himself in a prison uniform, and winced when he thought of how close he had come to that fate.

Were these all different aspects of himself? Or were these different futures that had been—or were—available to him?

Rey had said that the mirror images did not go on forever, that there was an end to them. So Ben went onward, searching.

The last image of himself looked as he did now: wearing the clothes the Resistance had given him, a few days' growth of stubble on his chin, soaked from his plunge a few minutes earlier. "Scruffy-looking," his mother would have said. And here before him was the next wall of glass, too foggy to see a reflection if it was a mirror or what lay beyond if it was a window.

Ben extended his hand again and touched the opaque glass with his fingertips, bowing his head. "I don't really know why I'm here," he admitted, unsure who or what he was addressing. "All I know is … I don't know what to do, or how to do it. And the fact that I'm still alive makes me think there must be something I'm supposed to do. If you could show me that much …"

When he looked up, he was startled to see two moving shapes in the fog. One was noticeably taller than the other, and they moved with different gaits. As they grew larger, ostensibly coming closer, he could have sworn he recognized those silhouettes.

"Dad?" he whispered, now pressing his entire hand against the mirror. "Mom?" He had not dared to ask for such a gift. He was on the verge of hope, but he remembered how Rey's hope had been dashed here, so he tried instead to be open to whatever it meant to show him.

The two of figures came toward him, but as they grew bigger and closer, they blurred together in his vision, and when the fog cleared, Ben saw his own reflection looking back at him.

Ben huffed. "I thought so." Maybe the cave was just toying with him, as it had with Rey.

But then again … maybe it was trying to make a point about his parents. They had seemed to meld into him … as though their coming together had formed him.

He understood, then, and admitted what he had long tried to deny. They lived in him, for better or worse. To his surprise, he found that he was no longer ashamed to admit the parts of himself that were like them. It was their memory that had given him the strength and courage to save Rey.

When he returned to his hut after this trip, he immediately felt Rey's presence. She was there for him as quickly as he had been there for her after she visited the cave a year earlier. She sat down on the floor while he made a fire to dry himself off. Then he sat near her, and the experience came pouring out of him. Rey listened quietly, her eyes never leaving him.

"It didn't show me what I wanted," Ben concluded, "but I guess it showed me something I needed to remember."

"How do you feel now?" Rey asked, concern in her eyes.

Ben was silent for a moment, reflecting. "Is it … is it wrong for me to feel proud of them—proud to be their son?"

"Of course not. You have every reason to be proud of them."

"After everything I did? I'm not sure I even deserve to call myself their son."

Rey's expression was gentle. "You're more like them than you know, Ben. I hope you come to see how much."

He remembered something else he had not shared. "I saw my mother a few days ago. I was able to talk to her."

"Oh." Rey looked pleasantly surprised, but then did not seem sure how to react. "How did that go?"

"It … it was hard, but it was something we needed. We were able to talk, and even touch." He paused. "Well, I don't know if we really did, but it felt real."

"I'm sure it was real," Rey said confidently. "I saw Luke after he died, and he could interact with the physical world. I'm sure Leia would have found a way."

"Yeah."

Rey asked, "Do you need anything? Food, clothes, tools? I can pass them to you."

Ben shook his head. "Nothing comes to mind. Thank you, though."

She nodded. "Anytime. Just let me know."

"I appreciate that."

Rey lifted her hand, but then hesitated. They had not tried to touch each other since confirming that their bond was still intact, and they were both aware that this situation was very much like the time they first touched across time and space—a moment that remained vivid and visceral in their memory. Seeing her hesitation, Ben offered his hand, and Rey took it tentatively. When they made contact, they both let out a sigh, apparently relieved to find they could still do this.

"Take care, Ben," Rey said softly, squeezing his hand.

"You too, Rey."

They let go of each other, and then they were alone again.

* * * * *

It was a while before Ben felt ready to try writing in the journal.

He had considered it several times, when he found himself unbearably bored. When he rifled through it, he found that some pages had prompts already written at the top of them, in several different hands.

Some were seemingly innocuous, albeit quite personal. _Write about your happiest memory. Write about a time you felt at peace. Write about your most painful experience._ That one made him snort—he doubted he could choose just one.

Others were discomfortingly specific: _List every time you killed or caused the death of sentient beings. Include as many details about each person as you know. Identify what you hoped to gain from each death, and whether it worked._

Ben supposed this was the adult equivalent of being sent to his room or to a corner to think about his wrongdoing. Didn't students in normal schools sometimes have to do writing exercises as punishments? He did not appreciate being treated like a misbehaving child.

He finally set himself to the task after visiting the cave. He wanted to write about his parents, to record what he remembered of them, and to confess his responsibility for his family's fall from grace.

Acting as Supreme Leader had kept him busy enough to distract himself, most of the time, from the pain of his father's death and the knowledge that he was the cause of it. It had also been necessary to hide his emotions from Snoke and everyone in the First Order. Now Ben had nothing to distract him, and no one from whom he needed to hide his feelings; and he had the added weight of his mother's death, for which he had also been partly, if indirectly, responsible. Now, he needed to face his grief and guilt, so he could lay it to rest and move on.

Once Ben began writing, he found it difficult to stop. Even though no one was likely to ever read his words, he felt some professional pride that made him want to make it thorough.

He wrote about his childhood, remembering the good as well as the bad. He admitted how much he had craved the love and approval of his family—not only Han, but also Leia and Luke, and even Chewbacca and Lando. He listed all of his classmates and what he remembered about them—their appearances and personalities, the adventures and mishaps they shared over the years. He wrote most of all about Tai, the exceptionally kind young man who had reached out to him and encouraged him. Ben sorely regretted not accepting his overtures of friendship.

He could not contain his anger as he wrote about the night he left the temple. Yet, as he recalled those events, he found himself wondering if he had, in fact, caused the fire. Had Snoke or Palpatine been responsible for some of the destruction? Had they caused Luke to see what his nephew would become? It would have made sense, putting the youngest Skywalker on the path to the Dark Side, turning the family against each other.

Ben wrote about meeting the Knights of Ren, and being tracked by his few surviving classmates, and how he had accidentally killed Hennix, failed to save Tai, and deliberately killed Ren and Voe. What a mixture of shame and self-justification these memories evoked!

Then came his training under Snoke. Looking back, Ben could see what a pathetic fool he had been, believing what Snoke said about his harsh training methods. He had been so desperate for guidance, for approval, for knowledge. And the whole time, he had been haunted by the knowledge that his family still cared for him, as the tree on Dagobah revealed.

Finally, after days of writing about the more distant past, Ben came to the events that had led him to cross paths with Finn, Rey, Han, and Luke. It had started the night he tracked down Poe Dameron and Lor San Tekka on Jakku.

_I only saw the pilot once, but it was enough to make me hate him. He was just as arrogant as my father, and when I looked into his mind, my mother was foremost in his thoughts. He looked up to her as much as I once had, but she actually mentored him. If his perception and memory were accurate, she had more faith in him than she ever had in me. I knew the Resistance was one of many projects that took my and my father's place in her life, but I had not expected to be replaced by an individual. Yet there he was, everything I could have been if I hadn't been born with a strong connection to the Force._

Ben acknowledged that he had personally killed Lor San Tekka, whom he had known as a boy, and ordered the deaths of all the villagers. He realized something eerie, almost frightening: if Rey had not made a life for herself alone, many miles away from the village, she might have ended up living there, and then her life would have ended along with theirs, on his orders. That thought just exacerbated the guilt he already felt for that night. It had been a cruel, unnecessary measure, more to frighten the captured pilot than anything else.

Perhaps that had been what pushed Finn over the edge. Ben remembered the stormtrooper's action—or lack of action—and how he had chosen to overlook it, something he later regretted.

_I knew him as FN-2187. When he deserted us and joined the Resistance, I hated him because he reminded me of myself: a good fighter trying to hide the fact that he felt conflicted and afraid. Yet in spite of his fear, in spite of his conditioning, he seized the opportunity that I couldn't. And while I had no one but my grandfather's ghost (or rather, Palpatine's voice in my head), he seemed to find friends, or at least allies, wherever he turned: the pilot Poe Dameron, the droid BB-8, Rey, Han Solo, and eventually the entire Resistance. They did not seem to have a problem with the fact that he had been raised as a stormtrooper and was their rightful enemy._

__

__

_All of these things reminded me that I still had a choice, when I was trying to convince myself that it was too late to change. I didn't know it then, but I envied his courage and his friendships. I wished I was in his place, flying in the Millennium Falcon with my father and Chewbacca and Rey._

It was impossible to avoid writing about Rey, since she had been so intertwined with all those subsequent events. It was difficult, though, because Ben was still trying to sort out his feelings regarding her, and he did not know who might read this in the future.

_I had told Snoke I would not be seduced by the light. I thought my family would be my temptation, but really they were my conscience. I thought destroying them would end my chance of turning. But as soon as I killed one, a new one appeared. She did the same things as them, but I was trying to cast off the past, and to me, she represented the future._

Ben could not bring himself to write about the details of their relationship—how it had fluctuated over the course of just a few days, then remained stagnant for a year, and finally reached a climax a few weeks earlier. He did not want to relive the pain of her rejection or the horror of her death. And he did not want to admit how much he missed her now, after finally resolving the conflict between them.

He knew he should be grateful. She was alive, and that meant the world to him. And they still had their bond, so he could see her again. And yet, he mourned the future they might have had, if he had allied with her sooner, or if she had joined him in the First Order, or if she had stayed with him on Ahch-To. These were all pointless, unrealistic fantasies.

Instead of dwelling on what might have been or still could be, Ben focused on other parts of his narrative. He wrote about his attack on Crait, his confrontation with Luke, his discovery of Exegol, his last few duels with Rey, and his vision of his father. He did not feel comfortable writing about how he had helped Rey and saved her life—it would have made him sound like a hero, and that was the last thing he wanted to make himself out to be.

When he had more or less caught up on recording the past, the questions shifted to the topic of the present and the future.

_What do you most desire?_

That question stunned him. What was the intention behind it? What did he stand to learn from reflecting on his desires? What was the point of doing so, when hardly any of his desires could be satisfied?

Underneath the question was a further explanation: _It does not need to be possible. That does not make it less real._

That made it a little easier. Ben's greatest impossible desire was to have his family back. Besides that, he wanted to know that he was where he belonged, doing what he was born to do.

Realistically, though, there was nothing that Ben could pursue. He had no enemy to destroy, no ally to recruit, no friend to save, no object to seek. He was, in fact, trying very hard not to want anything, because so little was available to him.

He could not write down his greatest and most attainable desire. After all, Rey and her friends might read this someday.

The truth was, he wanted Rey more than he had ever wanted anything. He had for a long time, though the nature of this desire had changed—at first he had not even known what it was. He had only known that she was important—both to him and to the galaxy—and that he wanted her to have some role in his life.

He had wanted her in so many different, selfish ways over the past year. Now … these days, he wanted her in every way one person could want another. Sometimes it felt like a child's longing for its parent—perhaps his subconscious thought of her as a mother figure, scolding and nurturing and defending her family. Sometimes it felt like a parent's urge to protect its child—that made more sense, considering Rey was younger and smaller than Ben. Sometimes it was a platonic longing for a companion, someone with whom he could talk and do activities and pass the time. And sometimes it was simply a man's desire for a relationship with a woman, someone who complemented him physically and emotionally.

Ben tried to put most of these desires aside and content himself with the ones that could reasonably be satisfied. Rey was his best friend and greatest ally. She cared for him and would continue to visit him. They were a dyad, linked for eternity. That should be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing about desires not needing to be attainable is part of an acting exercise in which you try to identify a character's intention at certain moments.


	8. Connection

On a clear, exceptionally dry day, Ben arranged a rock garden outside his hut. After years of living on sterile spacecraft, it felt good to work with dirt. Handling rocks reminded him of his early days of training with other Force-sensitive children, but he did not use the Force now.

The garden served no practical purpose, other than giving himself something to work on. That was something else he had to reconsider: the concept of productivity and the value of time.

The only things that gave him any kind of deadline were the weather and the seasons. He tried to gather food and firewood during clear periods, and wash and hang his clothes to dry when the sun was shining.

One evening, Ben misjudged the time while meditating by the mosaic in the mountain. Storm clouds had rolled in without his noticing, and he was not halfway back to the village before the rain began and soaked him through. He ran the rest of the way and entered his hut covered in sweat and mud.

When he lit the portable solar lamp, he saw Rey turning around to face him, which would not have startled him except for the fact that she looked different: she was wearing a blue and silver dress, and her hair was styled with an elegant braid twisted into a bun and several curls hanging down.

They stared at each other, both caught off guard, feeling self-conscious for opposite reasons.

"Hey," Rey offered.

"Hey," Ben returned. "I—uh—what—"

"We're going to a formal dinner," Rey confessed. "And dancing afterwards. Believe it or not, it's part of a diplomatic mission."

"Oh, I can believe it. My—mother used to do that kind of thing a lot." Ben went to a crate and got a towel, muttering, "Excuse me."

"Caught in the rain?" Rey guessed.

"Yeah." He patted his face and dry his hair with the towel. But he would have to wait until she was gone before he cleaned up the rest of himself.

He couldn't help but look Rey over. He had never seen her wear anything so fine, and he doubted she had ever dressed up like this before. She was looking down at the fancy fabric, running her hands over the folds.

"You look beautiful," Ben said truthfully.

Rey blushed at that. "Do I?"

Had he said the wrong thing? "I—well, not that you aren't in general, but—" He stopped as something occurred to him. "Has no one ever told you that before?"

"No. I don't think so. Well, Rose might have—I wasn't sure if she was talking about me, or the dress."

"Well, you are," Ben said frankly. He wished to Naboo and back that he was not covered in mud; if he wasn't a danger to her formalwear, he might have offered her a kiss for luck. He wondered, now, if someone else had, or would. "Are you going with anyone to this function?"

"Um, yeah, a few others. Finn and Poe, obviously, and Lieutenant Connix."

Ben could not help envying whoever was on this trip with her, and whoever was going to see her during this engagement.

"I hope you enjoy yourself," he said.

She blinked, surprised by the kind sentiment. "Thank you."

The Force connected them again several hours later, after Ben had cleaned up and Rey had left the party. Her hair was not quite as neat, with some strands falling out of the braid. She was sitting now, tired but quite happy.

"How did it go?" Ben asked casually.

She took a breath, still feeling exhilarated. "It was wonderful. I've never seen or done anything like that before."

"Did you dance with anyone?"

She blinked, then smiled, folding her arms. "Why do you want to know?"

He shrugged, feigning indifference. "Just making conversation."

"Oh, all right … I danced with Finn, and Poe, and a couple men I just met tonight. It's customary here to dance with the people you negotiate with. I guess it's supposed to be like a teambuilding exercise."

Ben remembered the way Rey moved when fighting, and tried to imagine, based on that, how she must have looked when dancing. He wished he could see that for himself, but he supposed their past fights were as close as he would ever come to dancing with Rey.

* * * * *

The Force connected them more frequently after that, every few weeks, averaging one or two times a month. There was no real pattern to the occurrences, except that they seemed to begin at moments when both halves of the dyad were alone, without other life forms nearby. Of course, Ben was alone almost all the time, with only R2-D2 nearby and the Lanai far off. But Rey found that they generally only happened at moments when she was by herself.

One time, she was eating when the Force connected them. She covered her mouth with her hand and did not immediately speak, trying to chew and swallow first.

"Did I interrupt a meal?" Ben asked, half amused and half apologetic.

Rey was sheepish. "No … I, um … I have some candy I saved from our last trip."

He raised his brow at her. "Are you sure it's just candy?"

"It's not spice or death sticks, if that's what you're getting at," she retorted, sounding a little more like how she used to talk to him.

"Then why do you look so guilty?"

She shrugged. "I guess I feel bad for hoarding it. Finn and Poe ate theirs right away, but I've been trying to make it last."

"It's their fault, then, for having it all at once."

"No, you don't get it. I …" She bit her lip, deliberating whether to confide in him. He waited, patient but curious. Then she confessed, "I got in trouble for hoarding food, a while back."

"Oh."

"Things were really bad for us after Crait. We didn't always have enough food, so when we did have it, I started saving parts of my meals for later. I had done that kind of thing on Jakku, sometimes. Then the porgs that stowed away with us got to my stash and gave me away. Leia forgave me—we weren't very well organized at that point, and I hadn't really been trained as a soldier. But I should know better by now."

"Rey, it's candy, not a four-course meal."

She smiled slightly at that. She glanced down at the package on her mattress, and then back at Ben. "Do you want some?"

He frowned in surprise. "Are you sure?"

She held out the bag. "You have sweets even more rarely than I do, now."

"Good point." He accepted a stick and tasted it experimentally. He almost gagged as the sweetness exploded on his tongue.

Rey smiled sympathetically at his reaction. "I remember the first time I tried a cookie—I found some in a box of rations on a ship. I wasn't prepared for it."

"Wait—it's better now. Oh, yeah. This is great."

She laughed watching Ben's slightly exaggerated reactions. Then she heard someone else coming in, and had to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter. "Gotta go. Bye, Ben."

"I'll see you, Rey."

* * * * *

On one occasion, they were both in bed when the Force connected them. If they had been close to falling asleep, they became fully awake when they sensed each other just a few feet away.

"Hey." Rey felt a little shy, being seen in her nightclothes. If this had happened when they were still enemies, she would have been alarmed, embarrassed and guarded; but they had reached such a level of trust that she didn't feel at all threatened.

"Hey."

They did not do much more than smile, marveling at how happy they now were to see each other. Neither of them had seen the other smile until that moment on Exegol. The sight of each other's smile made them smile more—a cycle of increasing happiness.

"How are you doing?" Rey asked.

"Well enough." He paused, and said, "It's peaceful here. I like that more and more."

"The porgs aren't bothering you?"

He matched her half-joking tone. "Sometimes I think they're plotting to kill me. But most of the time they're alright."

Rey's smiled returned, but her eyes were wistful. "I wish you were here."

"I wish you were with me."

Rey reached out her hand across the mattress toward him. Ben mirrored her movement, and she was not surprised when he managed to grasp her hand. She was, however, surprised when he brought it to his lips and kissed it. Their eyes met over their clasped hands resting between them.

"Do you think we could make this last, if we held on to each other?" Rey asked thoughtfully.

Ben's thumb moved back and forth over her hand. "I don't know. Do you want to try?"

"Yeah. I'm curious."

So they held on to each other's hand, gently but firmly. Time passed, and they remained visible to each other.

"I guess we can make it last," Ben said finally.

"Yeah. … Maybe we should let go now," Rey murmured. "We both need our rest."

"You're right." Ben let go of her hand.

Rey reached out with her other hand and pushed his hair back from his face. "Sleep well, Ben."

"You too."

They drew their hands back from each other and closed their eyes, curling up on their own beds. How much had changed, for them to trust each other enough to sleep within the other's reach.

The next time it happened when they were both in bed, Ben felt confident enough to reach out toward Rey. He touched her cheek, then slid his hand across her hair and down her neck to her shoulder. She responded by grasping his wrist, keeping his warm hand on her skin. His fingers curled around the curve of her neck where it met her shoulder, his thumb moving back and forth across her collarbone.

She wanted to be closer to him, feel more of him. He wanted the same. But he drew his hand back reluctantly, knowing that if they started down that path—especially when they were in bed—it might spiral, one thing leading to another, until one or both of them did something regrettable. He would not risk that, when things were finally stable and reasonably healthy between them.

* * * * *

One day, Rey appeared to him in an unusually jovial mood. "Hey! I was hoping to see you. Happy Life Day."

"It's Life Day?" Ben could barely remember the last time he had celebrated the holiday. The First Order had been so caught up in death, its members had never taken the time to celebrate the fact that they were alive.

"We had a kind of last-minute celebration. We have some leftovers here that you can have—and Chewie and I made something for you."

Ben felt unbearably inadequate. "But … I don't have anything for you."

She shook her head slightly. "So?"

"I can't give you something in return."

"If I expected something in return, it wouldn't be a gift."

Ben had no counterargument for that.

He could not see her surroundings, but he saw the items that she picked up and passed to him. The first was a container filled with so much good-looking food that it made his mouth water. The second was an article of clothing, which he had to unfold and shake out to identify. It was a cloak—very practical for Ahch-To's cold, stormy weather—dyed a muted shade of green.

"Thank you. Thank Chewie for me, too. This is … very thoughtful." He could not meet her gaze.

Rey noticed how subdued he was. "Is something wrong?"

Ben shook his head. "It's just … there were times when I imagined all the things I could give you, if you joined me. Food, clothes, spacecraft, entire planets … I would have had the power to give you anything you wanted." He chuckled, a little bitter as he contemplated the irony. "The tables have really turned. Now you're the one giving things to me." He looked at her softly. "You're the only one who cares enough to."

She reached out and took his hand, looking into his eyes. "I never celebrated Life Day on Jakku. Chewie said it's about celebrating life, and honoring the people who give or preserve life, and give our lives meaning. For me, that includes you. I'm alive because of you."

"And I because of you."

She smiled, then kissed the back of his hand. With his other hand, Ben touched her face and hair, then leaned forward to touch his forehead to hers. "Happy Life Day, Rey."

* * * * *

One time, Ben appeared to her lying down, gasping and looking around wildly. "Rey! You're okay?"

"I'm fine." She took in the fact that his hair was disheveled and he had a blanket over his legs. "Are you in bed?"

He relaxed somewhat, looking sheepish. "Yeah. It's nighttime here."

Rey sat down but pulled her chair closer to him. "Did you have a bad dream?" she asked gently.

He did not meet her eyes. "Yes."

"It's okay. I'm no stranger to nightmares."

"It started out more like my memories. You were in it. It was Exegol all over again, except I couldn't climb up to where you were. I could feel you dying—just like when it really happened—but there was nothing I could do."

Rey was both pained and touched to hear this. "I'm sorry," she said, not knowing what else to say.

Ben shook his head. "It's not your fault. I don't sleep too well to begin with. Looking back, I think Snoke—or Palpatine—had a hand in that. But I don't hear or feel them anymore, so I guess this is normal after a traumatic experience."

"Can I do anything?"

He looked at her, considering how open-ended that offer was. He reached out his hand tentatively, opening his fingers. Rey placed her hand in his. They both squeezed at the same time. Then she surprised him by bending down on one knee, putting her arm around him, and leaning her head against his.

"Oh, Rey," he sighed, leaning into her warmth.

She pressed a kiss to the side of his head and smoothed his hair with her hand. "I know."

"Do you?"

"I think I do."

Ben doubted that she understood what those words meant to the Solos. Yet, somehow, he believed that it was true—that on some level, she knew how he felt about her, even if it went unspoken.

He was debating whether to say more, when something in her surroundings caught her attention. She pulled back enough to meet his eyes, her expression apologetic. "I'm sorry. I have to go." She touched his face, warming his cold skin for a moment. "Sleep well." Then she stood and walked away. She paused to cast a glance back at him, then turned and was gone from his sight.

Ben wondered—not for the first time, and probably not for the last time—if he was better off getting these fleeting glimpses of her that always seemed to end too soon, or would have been better not having them at all. If he never saw her, or only saw her through holovid transmissions, then it might be easier to let go of her. But each encounter only reinforced his attachment and affection—and based on her words and actions, he suspected that they had a similar effect on her. This suspicion comforted him as he tried to go back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next few chapters have been tricky to organize, because they cover a period of a few years. Some of them will be like this, with short scenes grouped more thematically than chronologically.
> 
> Disclaimer: The incident with the cookie is in _Before the Awakening_ by Greg Rucka. Life Day is from the Star Wars Holiday Special and its recent Lego reboot.


	9. Visitation

"I only have one rule for you guys, or for anyone who interacts with him at any time," Poe said, sounding sterner than usual. "No talking about government, politics, or Resistance activity. That applies during your little Force holo thingies, too, Rey."

"It's called a Force bond," Rey said coolly, "and I don't think that's entirely necessary. I mean, I live with the Resistance; does that make everything a Resistance activity?"

"Maybe that word should be more specific—like, change it to 'missions' or 'classified information,'" Finn suggested. He often found himself mediating between Poe and Rey, especially where the erstwhile Kylo Ren was concerned.

Ben's first "official" check-in was coming up, marking six standard months since his exile. Even though only Rey, Maz, and Lando were going to make the journey, it put a few other people on edge. Poe viewed the event with tolerance but no pleasure. He knew Rey's presence would be something like a reward to Ben, which, in his opinion, had not been earned. But Rey was the only person powerful enough to subdue him if he turned violent or tried to escape, so she had to be part of the visiting party. Maz and Lando were assigned to accompany her because, unlike the officers, they did not have more pressing business to attend to, and unlike most of the Resistance members, they did not mind interacting with Ben, nor he with them.

Rey felt a little silly for thinking so much about the appointment as it approached. There was no reason for her to feel nervous. She did not feel nervous when they saw each other through the Force, after all. But that was always a surprise, leaving her no time to anticipate what may or may not happen. What did she hope would happen?

As though it had sensed her thoughts, the Force connected her with Ben when she was thinking about him.

She tilted her head at him; for a moment she thought the light and shadows were playing tricks on her eyes. She fought back a smile as she asked, "Are you growing a beard?" She saw him often enough to know that he did not maintain a clean shave every day, but now his facial hair was longer and even more pronounced.

Ben smiled with just a little bashfulness, touching his jaw. "I didn't see a reason not to. It's not like I have to look good for anyone."

If she noticed the implication behind those words, she ignored it, studying his appearance instead. "It's … not a bad look, I suppose."

"You think so?"

She nodded slowly, but regarded him with a critical eye. "What you really need is a haircut."

Almost involuntarily Ben lifted a hand to his hair, feeling its length. "I think it's pretty good, considering I had to do it."

"You could ask one of the caretakers," Rey suggested.

"I try not to talk to them more than I need to. They don't seem to like me much."

"Well … you could ask me," Rey suggested. "I couldn't do it now, but when I visit."

"I'm not going to do that," he said shortly.

"Why not?" she pressed.

"You already do so much for me."

"Well, if you won't ask, what if I offered?"

"… Then I might consider it."

"Alright then: Would you like me to cut your hair?"

His expression became guarded. "Can I trust you? My hair is one of the few things I haven't lost."

"I understand. Don't worry. I've cut other people's hair in the Resistance."

"Your hair is getting longer," he observed.

Rey shrugged, causing her hair to brush against her shoulders. "I wear it down more often, since the fighting ended."

"I like it."

"Oh … thank you." She changed the subject. "You know the visit is in a few days."

"I'm aware. Artoo has a calendar. But, um—I was wondering how long you'll be here."

"Just a few hours, at most. Lando and Maz are coming, too. Chewie couldn't come this time, but he'd like to come in a few months, and stay a while if you'd let him."

"I see. Do I need to do anything for you while you're here?"

"Just show us how you've been living, and answer some questions."

"Sounds like a test."

"I guess you could look at it that way. For me the idea is just to make sure you're okay."

"For my own sake, you mean. Whereas the others probably want to make sure I'm not plotting a hostile takeover."

"… Something like that," she admitted.

"Well … it'll be nice to see you in person."

She smiled openly at that. "Yeah. It will."

* * * * *

Ben was standing outside waiting for them when they arrived. R2-D2 stood next to him, more for moral support than for any practical purpose.

He and Rey locked eyes as they approached, but before she could decide how to greet him—a hug? a handshake? a kiss?—Lando strode forward, extending his hand and calling out in his loud voice, "Ben!"

Ben smiled, genuinely glad to see some intelligent beings, and shook his hand. "It's good to see you, Lando."

"You too, kid. Guess I can't call you 'Benny boy' anymore, huh?"

Maz adjusted her glasses to peer at him. "Ben Solo."

"Maz … always a pleasure."

"I would say the same if your troops hadn't destroyed my castle," Maz said. The reminder took Ben aback, but then she smiled, and somehow he knew even that was forgiven.

He met Rey's eyes, and found that she was smiling broadly. It was hard not to return it. "Rey."

"Hi, Ben." She came up to him, hugged him briefly and kissed his cheek—it was smooth, as he had decided to shave for the occasion.

"So, are you gonna invite us in?" Lando asked.

"Is that how this works? I have to play the host?"

"You don't have to," Rey said neutrally, "but it would be the polite thing to do."

So Ben led them up to the village and showed them the hut he called his own. For the first time he felt self-conscious about his living conditions. His quarters were not as tidy as they could be, but they were not deplorable. It was only a little cramped with four beings inside at once.

It was strange—though not entirely unpleasant—having company after months of solitude. Lando and Maz did most of the talking, since they had not seen him since he came to Ahch-To, but Rey also chimed in to ask about his projects for the island's infrastructure.

He noticed her look of approval at his food supplies—he had managed to keep the majority of his rations in reserve, living primarily on what he could gather. She was also impressed by his plans for a reservoir system to gather rainwater and store it for washing or drinking.

"You've made more improvements in six months than Skywalker made in six years," she remarked at one point. For the first time in longer than he cared to remember, Ben felt some degree of personal pride.

When the conversation began to lag, Rey finally got to the real point of the visit. "We're, um, supposed to ask you some questions about your behavior. You can tell us your answers verbally or in writing."

"So you're here to interrogate me." Would the Force ever tire of that irony?

"More like an interview," Maz said, handing a datapad to Lando.

"And Rey here will know if you're lying, so you're better off sticking with the truth," Lando said.

"I wouldn't lie," Ben said hotly. He was—or at least had been—many reprehensible things, but he had rarely ever tried to deceive anyone, and he would never have lied to Rey.

Lando looked at the datapad and read the questions out loud, sounding more formal and efficient than Ben had ever heard him; the former administrator of Cloud City seemed to be coming out. "Have you felt the urge to hurt yourself, other living things, or property?"

"… No."

"Have you come to any significant conclusions about your past behavior, present circumstances, or future prospects?"

"Um … yes, some. Do I have to talk about them?" He remembered the journal Maz had given him—would they demand to read it? Had that been her intention all along?

To his surprise and relief, it was Maz who answered, "No. You can plead silence."

There were a few questions of strategic importance, regarding the First Order's bases, activities, and officers. Ben answered as truthfully as he could.

"Anything else?" he asked after a lengthy explanation.

Lando shook his head and handed the datapad back to Maz. "That's it."

"Actually, I have one more question," Rey posited. Ben sat up straight, wondering what Rey could have to ask him. "Do you still want a haircut?"

Ben blinked. "Wha—oh. Um. Yes, if that's—if it's not too much trouble."

"It's not. It won't take long." She opened the door to look outside. "Why don't we do it outside? The wind isn't blowing, and the light will be better."

"Okay."

While Lando and Maz went back to the shuttle for a new crate of supplies, Rey and Ben went to the firepit with the stone benches. Ben sat down with a towel over his shoulders, and Rey stood behind the bench with the scissors and a bowl of water.

Before she began, she carded her fingers through his hair, almost experimentally. "It's so soft," she marveled.

"Not as soft as it used to be."

"Right. Well. I thought asking for hair care products might be a bit much."

"I'm not complaining. Just a statement of fact."

Rey wet her hands and then ran them over his hair to dampen it. Then she carded her fingers through it, stopping a few inches from his scalp. "Should I make it a little shorter than it usually is? Then you won't have to cut it again quite so soon."

"Alright."

With that permission, Rey set to work.

It may not have been their most intimate moment—too many others were in the running for that distinction—but it was certainly their most domestic one. Who would have imagined they would be in this position, with him allowing her to approach with a sharp implement and alter his physical appearance? Not that there was anyone to see his hair and cause him embarrassment if she did it poorly.

As she worked, Rey asked, "Out of curiosity, who cut hair in the First Order?"

"Usually droids. Sometimes a medic, if one was available."

"What about when you were growing up?"

A smile tugged at the corners of Ben's mouth. "My dad would, if he was able. He didn't like the idea of paying someone else to do something so simple. And when he wasn't around, my mom would braid it."

"Really?" Rey sounded both surprised and amused.

"Just small braids. Jedi padawans used to have them as a sign of their rank. And on Alderaan, the royal family almost always wore them. That's why my mother almost always had them, even though she would have preferred it down or in a ponytail. There were all kinds of different ways to wear braids, each with their own significance."

"I think I only saw her with two different styles," Rey said, trying to remember.

Ben was silent for a moment, then said, "There was one style reserved for mourning. She would have worn that after …"

Rey stopped moving. "Oh." She put the scissors down and laid her hand gently on his head; he was pretty sure the way she stroked it had little to do with styling it. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He stopped himself from shaking his head. "Not really. Not now."

"Okay. But you know that you can, if you ever want to."

"I know." Before Rey could begin cutting again, he stopped her wrist and asked, "I've told you a lot about my parents, and how I'm dealing with … everything. But you haven't mentioned …"

She looked at him blankly.

"Well … have you been okay, after learning about Palpatine, and your parents?"

Rey opened her mouth but was momentarily unable to form words. When she found her voice, she answered, "I … I've tried not to think much about it."

"Do your friends know?"

"Yes. They found out part of the story from a droid we found on Pasaana. It belonged to Ochi. I just confirmed what they guessed, and filled in the gaps."

"How did they take it?"

"It barely bothered them. They were mostly just glad that I was alive and staying with the Resistance. We haven't spoken of it since."

Ben looked at her with regret. "I'm sorry for—for the way I told you. I know it hurt you."

"It would have hurt no matter how you told me."

"I knew it would. But I could have tried to soften the blow."

"I'm past it, Ben."

"Past my telling you, or past the fact itself?"

"Both."

"Well … good." He was sure she must be thinking and feeling more about it, but he decided not press her further, except to say, "You know you can talk to me, if you want to."

"I know. Having evil grandparents is something we have in common."

She moved around to stand facing him, examining him from in front. He felt strange having her look at him this way, studying his appearance rather than looking directly into his eyes. She ran her hands over and through his hair a few more times before concluding, "I think that's it. Do you have a mirror?"

"Inside." He rarely used it, but Rey seemed to want to see his reaction. So he got up from the bench, shook the trimmings from the towel, and went inside and found the mirror.

His hair was shorter than he usually kept it—growing up, he had always kept it long enough to fall over his large ears. Looking closely, he saw other changes in his appearance: his complexion was no longer so pale, and the bags under his eyes were less pronounced. He smiled experimentally, and realized the he looked even better when he did so.

"I like it." He turned back to Rey, who remained standing near the door. "Thank you for doing that."

She smiled back. "You're welcome."

It occurred to both of them, then, that they were alone in a private place, except for R2-D2 who sat quietly in the corner. But before they could begin to consider the questions that started to bloom in their minds or the tension that threatened to fill their bodies, Lando and Maz came in with the container of supplies, which was small enough that Lando was able to carry it. Ben accepted it and glanced inside to see its contents: mostly food, but also soap, sewing materials so he could mend his clothing, the seeds and tools he had requested to plant a garden, and paper and ink so he could continue writing.

Ben walked back with the others to the landing pad. As they passed by the bench, they saw a couple porgs examining the hair trimmings on the ground. "They'll probably line their nests with it," Rey said with a grin. It was an odd but not displeasing thought, to imagine that something of him would become part of the island's ecosystem, used to create shelter.

"When will I see you—any of you again?" Ben asked as they made their way down.

Rey answered, "Chewie will come and stay with you in a few months. I don't know when my turn will be. It might be a year."

"I see."

"Well—we probably _will_ see." She gave him a meaningful look, and he grinned in anticipation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: I usually take a hiatus during Lent, which this year is February 17 to April 3. However, the next chapter is one I've really looked forward to (hint: there will be a significant interaction with another character), so I'm going to post it next weekend. Think of it as a Valentine's Day/Mardi Gras gift.


	10. Healing

The name Kylo Ren came up fairly often, as it had during the war. It was unavoidable in the effort to rebuild the planets and even entire systems that had been exploited by the First Order. The Resistance would run into people whose planet or local community had suffered under the regime, or even at the hands of the Knights of Ren themselves.

Rey knew the other Resistance members watched for her reaction whenever Kylo Ren was mentioned; but she became good at keeping a straight face, not betraying any emotion other than grim understanding and sympathy for whoever was sharing their story.

Finn was the only one who knew how she felt at those moments. Time and training sharpened his sensitivity to the Force and his perception of people's thoughts and emotions. It grew increasingly easier for him to sense the feelings of people in general and his friends in particular.

When Kylo Ren was being discussed, Rey felt cold and sad inside. But when she talked about Ben Solo, happiness spread through her like light from a candle—a soft, glowing, comforting kind of joy.

"Do you still see him?" Finn asked her one day. "In the Force, I mean?"

"Yeah."

"Like … how often?"

"I don't know … maybe once or twice a month." It had happened enough times since his exile that Rey had lost count.

"That often, huh? You guys get along?"

Rey looked at him for a moment; then she smiled and turned away, shaking her head.

Finn also turned his back to her and muttered something about withdrawing the question. But, though his ability to sense other people's feelings was improving, he had trouble masking his own, particularly from his Force-sensitive friend. Rey could palpably sense the negative emotions churning inside him, though they were too confused to discern clearly.

"What is it?" she asked finally.

Finn shrugged. "Nothing, really. Nothing worth saying."

"Come on, Finn. If you don't say it, I might think it's worse than it is."

They met each other's eyes, and at last Finn huffed in defeat. "Okay. It's just … ever since I deserted … whenever I've thought about the First Order, I've kind of pictured him as the face of it. I mean, I never saw Snoke in person—hardly anyone did. The biggest players I saw were General Hux, Captain Phasma, and Kylo Ren. And when he became Supreme Leader, his face—or, well, the mask—was all over the place, on the HoloNet and in propaganda. Even now, we and all the people we meet are living with the consequences of what he did."

Rey nodded slowly. "Okay. … Where are you going with this?"

"I don't know. I guess it's just … it's a weird contrast to how you seem to feel toward him."

"You don't have to approve of our relationship, Finn," Rey said, somewhat cool now. "But for better or worse, Ben and I are stuck with each other. It's in our best interests to be on friendly terms."

"I guess that makes sense," Finn conceded. "It's just hard for me to picture him as anyone's friend. Like you—I saw him carry you off in his ship, fling you against a tree, and almost cut you down a few times. I still have scars from our fight on Starkiller."

Rey blinked and frowned in surprise. "You do?"

"Er—yeah. I mean, they're not as bad as they were, but bacta can only do so much." Finn suddenly looked uncomfortable, almost self-conscious. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"You didn't. You just got me thinking …" Rey paused, deliberating. "Maybe it's time we talked about Force healing."

Finn perked up at that. "You mean like what you did for that giant snake?"

"Yes. But …" She trailed off as she became lost in thought.

"What?" Finn asked.

"I have an idea. But I don't know if it will work, or if you'll like it."

"Well, you're the Jedi. I trust your judgment."

Rey smiled but warned, "You shouldn't trust me just because of that."

"You know I don't. I trust you 'cause you're my friend."

"Good." That trust might soon be put to the test.

* * * * *

Despite having a means of communication, Ben did not receive many messages. He had expected as much when he went into exile. So hearing R2-D2 alert him to an incoming transmission was a surprise, as was the identity of the caller: Rey. They had never communicated remotely outside the bond. He did not know whether she would have called him if the Force had not connected them, but it had essentially removed the need for them to do so. Why was she calling now?

"Hey," Ben greeted.

"Hey," Rey answered.

"This is different."

"I wanted to talk with you, and I couldn't wait for the Force to connect us."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, no," she assured him. "It's just—" She took a breath and tried to start over."

"Okay." Ben sat down on the bench, as though sitting across from Rey. "What kind of favor?"

"It's for a friend of mine. Someone you hurt once. This would be a way to make up for it, to make amends. You can think of it as a peace offering."

"Who's this friend?"

"Finn. Remember how you almost killed him on Starkiller Base?"

Ben nodded curtly. "I remember."

"Well, he still has scars from that fight. I didn't know until recently."

Ben frowned. "How did you find out?"

Rey guessed the bend of his thoughts, and laughed. "Don't be so scandalized! It just came up in conversation. Anyway, when he mentioned it, we ended up talking about Force healing. He asked if I could heal him, and I supposed I could, but … I think you should be the one to do it."

Ben stared at her holoprojection. "Why—why me?"

"You've hurt a lot of people. Most of them have been hurt in ways you can't fix, and even if you could, they wouldn't want or be able to see you. But Finn is one person that can come to you, and healing him is something you can do."

"So … you want this for his sake, or for mine?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm just trying to understand."

"It's for both of you. I'm trying to be a peacemaker—that's what everyone seems to expect me to be—but I can't just fix relationships for other people. You were the one who inflicted the wound, so I think you should be the one who makes the effort to heal it. And Finn needs to make the effort to let go of his anger and hatred—I know he's trying, but it's still hard for him. This would give him some closure as far as you're concerned."

There was a certain logic to her words, but Ben still had difficulty seeing how her idea could be carried out. "Would he agree to see me? To let me get that close?"

"I think I can convince him. He trusts me, and he knows I'm one of the few people that can beat you in a fight."

"The wounds are on his back, right? He can't even see them. Does he care whether he has them or not?"

"Someday he might. Everyone who sees them—his family, if he gets married and has kids; any doctors or anyone who has to see his back for any reason—will ask how he got them. Even if he just says that he was wounded in the war, it'll be a reminder to him of who you were and what you did."

"He's not going to forget that, even without the scars."

"No, but it might be easier to forgive you if you repair the damage you caused. This is one small way you can do that. I know it may not be much compared to the whole, but it would be a lot for him." Rey hesitated. "Don't tell him I told you this, but … he and Rose are dating."

"Oh?" Ben remembered the Resistance mechanic who had treated him kindly. He did not recall seeing her interact with Finn. But hearing that he was interested in someone else gave him some relief, even if it should not have.

Rey went on, "They might get married someday, and I don't think he would want her to see his scars and be reminded of you. Or of me."

"You?"

"He fought you to protect me, after you threw me against a tree and knocked me out. Before that, he had made it clear that fighting was the last thing he wanted to do. But he fought for me."

Ben was silent, processing what she said. She bristled slightly, almost blushing. "Finn and I have never been more than friends, and Rose knows that, but I'd rather not have her think of me whenever she sees …"

"Fine."

Rey stopped abruptly, not sure if she had heard correctly. "What?"

"If it'll bring you and your friends peace of mind, I'll do it."

"Really?"

Ben nodded.

Rey placed her hand over her heart. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

"I won't be nice to him," Ben warned.

Rey smiled at that. "Your father once said something similar to me."

Ben blinked in surprise. "Did he?"

"He did. I thought he was a nice man, even if he didn't want to seem like one." Her expression became soft. "I see him more and more in you. And if other people who knew him saw more of you, I'm sure they would too."

"We'll see."

"Does it make any difference what day we come?"

"Not really."

"Alright. I'll talk to Finn, and if he agrees, I'll let you know when we're on our way."

* * * * *

A week later, Ben stood waiting as the _Millennium Falcon_ landed on the island. A moment later, Rey and Finn came down the ramp.

If Rey had come alone, Ben might have felt bold enough to greet her with a hug. But she was with her friend; the two of them were coming as a united front, and while they were no longer in opposition with him, it made Ben feel like the outsider, despite being in his own home.

"Hi, Ben," Rey said.

"Rey. Finn."

The former stormtrooper nodded to him. "Solo."

A moment of silence passed as they regarded each other and tried to think of something polite, or at least neutral, to say.

"You look a lot better than when I last saw you," Finn observed.

"Do I?" Ben was aware that his appearance had changed somewhat, but not necessarily for the better.

"I mean, you don't look beat up."

"… Thanks."

Rey clapped Finn's shoulder lightly and tossed her head toward the stone path. "Come on, we'll show you around."

Ben couldn't help feeling some satisfaction at hearing her say "we" referring to herself and him.

She walked between the two of them, whether they went side by side or single file, as they walked around the island. Ben deduced from her conversation with Finn that she was now training him in the ways of the Jedi. That only made sense, he supposed. He tried not to think about how he and Rey could have been like that, with him teaching her—though, in a different way, she had picked up a great deal from him.

"This place is kind of cool," Finn said appreciatively as they climbed the steps up to the village.

A smile tugged at the corner of Ben's mouth. "Not the word I would use, but yes."

"This is where the first Jedi came from?"

"It's where they first organized themselves as a religious order." Ben stopped outside his hut, glancing back at his visitors. He did not particularly want the deserter in his house, and he guessed that Finn did not want to be in his house, but he remembered what Rey had said during her last visit. So he asked them, "Do you want to come in?"

Finn masked his surprise with nonchalance. "Nah, I'm good."

"I think we should be inside for this," Rey countered. "It could rain any second, and you'll be cold in the wind."

With that, Ben held the door open for them. Rey put a hand on Finn's shoulder before guiding him inside.

"I like what you've done with the place," Finn said sardonically, looking around the sparse living quarters.

"I did the best with what I was given." Ben held out a hand and used the Force to move the crates around, creating three makeshift chairs. Finn sat down while Rey went over to R2-D2 and knelt to chat with him.

"So," Finn began.

"So …" Ben echoed.

"Are we really gonna do this?"

"You tell me."

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?"

"Yet you're the one asking."

Rey joined them, sitting on the third crate. "Are you both ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Finn said with a grimace.

"May I see the wound?" Ben wanted to have a better idea of how much energy this would take before he made the attempt.

"More like wounds, plural," Finn griped, standing up. He shrugged off his vest and pulled his shirt off, then turned his back to them.

Ben had seen far worse wounds in his life. The scars from his lightsaber had healed fairly well. The only thing that surprised him was their size—the lines were thin, but longer than he had expected. "Bacta treatment?"

"Yeah." Finn turned around to face them again, folding his arms over his chest. "So how does this work?"

The three of them glanced at each other.

Ben indicated the stone bench that served as his bed. "Do you want to sit or lie down for this?"

"I think I'll stand."

"You'll have to turn your back to him either way," Rey said, tilting her head toward Ben.

Finn heaved a sigh, looking reluctantly between his friend and his former enemy.

"It'll be okay," Rey promised. She held her hand out to Finn, who clasped it gratefully. Ben fought back a surge of jealousy, seeing her give her hand to someone else, but he tried to shield the feeling before they could sense it.

"Okay. Okay." Finn sat down once more, still holding her hand, bracing himself. "Go ahead, then."

Ben's reluctance increased as he came to stand behind the younger man. Rey was the only person with whom he had ever shared his life force. It went against his instinct to share it with someone he did not love, for whom his feelings were mostly negative.

Seeing how tense they were, Rey began to speak, encouraging each of them in turn. "You have to want it. You have to remember that you're the same as far as the Force is concerned. It's in and around both of you." To Ben she said, "You have to will his wellbeing." To Finn she said, "You have to want to be healed."

Finn nodded, accepting this instruction. Ben just looked at Rey standing next to them, patient and hopeful and affectionate as she watched the two of them. He reminded himself that he was doing this for her.

Holding on to that thought, he placed one hand lightly on Finn's back, and then closed his eyes. To counter the tension in the air, he breathed deeply, in and out. It was quiet enough that he could hear Finn and Rey do the same.

Finn, of course, could not see the change as it happened, but he could feel it, and he shivered at the strange sensation. "Whoa."

"Hold still," Ben said through his teeth.

"I am holding still."

"Hush," Rey said. "Let him concentrate."

It did take concentration, and even more willpower than Ben usually needed to exercise when using the Force for exceptional tasks. He could feel own energy waning as he transferred more of it to Finn, willing the tissue to heal, the cells to rearrange.

He heard Rey gasp softly, prompting him to open his eyes. The skin on Finn's back now appeared smooth, unblemished. Ben pulled his hand back, then turned away and sat on the floor, leaning back against a crate, taking deep breaths.

"Did it work?" Finn asked, craning his neck to look over his shoulder.

"Couldn't you feel it?"

"Yeah, but I can't see—" He tried to stretch his arm to touch his back.

Rey looked at Ben in concern and knelt down next to him. "You okay?" She touched his shoulder, as though trying to steady him.

Ben put his hand over hers. "Fine. Just tired."

She smiled, sympathetic but also grateful. "Thank you for doing this."

"Wow—it worked!" Finn was feeling his backside, marveling at its smoothness. He started to turn toward them, but then looked away when he saw how close they were to each other. Instead he put on his shirt and vest, and stood up at the same time Rey helped Ben to his feet. "I never thought I'd say this, but thanks."

"… You're welcome."

They stayed long enough for Ben to eat some high-calorie rations Rey had brought—she knew how draining Force healing could be, and it was even more so when not fueled with adrenaline. Again, Rey filled the silence most of the time. But then Finn surprised them by addressing Ben. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh?" This was different—usually the Resistance members only wanted to ask or demand things of him.

"Back on our base, you asked me about the stormtroopers. I don't know if you actually care or were just trying to make a point, but it kind of stuck with me."

Rey interrupted, "I thought we weren't supposed to talk about …?"

"Yeah, well, I'm the same rank as Poe, so I can break his rules if I want."

"I'm not sure that's how that works," Rey said, but she sounded amused.

Finn turned to Ben and went on, "You were right. A lot of stormtroopers died that day. But not all of them. In fact, some of our allies on Exegol were deserters like me. And since then, we've been trying to locate the others—anyone who was 'conscripted' like us."

"To what purpose?" Ben asked, curious. This was the most he had heard about the Resistance and the First Order, or anything going on offworld, for quite some time.

Rey explained, "Our goal is to rehabilitate them and help them find their families."

"It's not going to be easy," Finn acknowledged. "But they'll at least have a choice about what to do with their lives."

Ben hardly knew what to say. Evidently this mattered to Finn, and it mattered to him that Ben knew about it. "That's … good." He supposed the stormtroopers would be even better off than he was now. They could not all be sent into exile. Those that still had families could try to live with them again. They could find new jobs, start new families, enjoy new lives. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks."

They did not see Rey's wide, satisfied smile as she observed them.

Once Ben felt strong enough, they walked back to the landing platform together. Once they arrived Rey asked Finn, "Can you give us a minute?"

"Uh—sure." Finn turned to Ben and nodded in acknowledgement. "Thanks again. I know you did this for Rey and not me. But it's still appreciated."

Ben nodded back. "You're welcome. I would say 'come again,' but I'm guessing you wouldn't want to."

"Yeah, I'll probably be busy," Finn agreed.

"Well—may the Force be with you."

Finn actually smiled at that. "And with you." Then he started off for the _Millennium Falcon_.

When Ben looked at Rey he found her smiling widely at him, her arms folded, looking smug and triumphant. "What?"

"I knew it."

"Knew what?"

She gestured between Ben and Finn, who was disappearing into the ship. "You two—you're so alike. You could be friends if you tried."

"Rey, please, don't push it."

She laughed a little, but turned serious as she spoke. "I won't. You both came a long way today." She looked at him with sincere gratitude. "Thank you for doing this."

He softened as he looked back at her. "Rey … there's nothing I wouldn't do for you if you asked."

Her smile faded at that. She did not know how to respond. Ben cursed himself for making the lighthearted moment awkward. It was finally just the two of them, but now that they had some privacy, Ben did not know what to say.

After a moment, Rey opened her arms. Ben wordlessly came up and hugged her. They held each other for a full minute, breathing deeply, letting their emotions bleed through their bond. They were as wistful as they ever were at these moments of farewell; but Ben also sensed something else in Rey: pride. He thought it must have been for Finn, but then she spoke into his ear, words he had craved throughout his life: "I'm proud of you."

He pulled back in surprise. "For what?"

Her expression was tender. "For everything you're doing. I know this isn't easy, and you're trying so hard to be a better man. I just—I want you to know it's not unnoticed."

Ben was speechless. Seeing that he had no more to say, Rey kissed his cheek and promised, "I'll see you soon. Take care until then."

"You too."

This time, Rey was not the only one who waved as the ship took off; Finn also lifted his hand, making a gesture that might have been a salute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Regular updates will resume after Easter. In the meantime, comments are always welcome!


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